“Say it.” He demanded.
My thighs shook. Each push took him deeper, and he kept scrubbing my clit against the mattress. I’d gone from mind-numbing orgasm to pleasure that was now painful.
“I’m not leaving,” I gasped, needing him to stop.
He didn’t stop. He gave me three more swift thrusts before holding himself deep inside me, leaning over my shoulder as he groaned through his orgasm. He pulsed, filling me, then growing still. My heart beat so hard, and I couldn’t move. My bones were liquid as I lay on the bed.
Two more breaths, and he climbed onto the mattress, pulling me with him. I couldn’t resist if I wanted to as he wrapped me in his arms, holding me against his chest. His face was at my shoulder, buried in my hair, and he breathed deeply. We were both panting. Holding him, I could feel his pulse at my temple.
“Stuart,” I whispered.
“You’re mine.” He rumbled against my skin. “You don’t leave me.”
My jaw clenched. I was still recovering from that blazing fuck, and I hated how shockingly true his words were. I’d need the strength of Hercules to walk away from him. At the same time, I knew I had to stay strong.
“But you can leave me?”
He didn’t answer. He only held me firm against his chest. Our breath swirled in and out, mixing and mingling, and I wondered if he’d ever let me go. I wondered if I ever wanted him to. After a few moments, he did relax. He reached down and pulled the Indian blanket over me. Kissing my shoulder, he went to the bathroom and closed the door.
I pulled the blanket tight around me trying to calm my swirling emotions.
Chapter 10: Change of Plans
Stuart
Mariska was asleep on the bed as I pulled on my jeans and canvass jacket. My eyes didn’t leave her as I stepped into my boots. They traveled from her loose chestnut waves spread over the pillow to her lips, red and a little swollen. I’d been too rough with her. I couldn’t help it. Shaking my head, I grabbed my hat and pushed through the door.
Freckles was quickly saddled, and we set off across the plain at a fast gallop in the direction of the falls. The sky was wide open. We were coming to the end of the Chinook, the reprieve from the harsh, bitter cold that would blanket this area for months. It seemed fitting for the mood I was in—facing the end. Only the end of what? I couldn’t seem to answer that question.
The noise of galloping hooves formed a monotonous soundtrack as my thoughts wandered far into the horizon. My life had always been overseas. I graduated school and left, never planning to come back—at least not to stay. Yet doing what I was born to do had changed everything. My injury forced me to leave the only life I ever wanted. I was born to serve and protect, and they’d sent me home to join the faceless millions.
Derek said to find something new to serve and protect. Pulling Freckles to a stop, I slid out of the saddle to the ground. Releasing the reins, I started walking, pushing my legs through the brown grasses, heading for nowhere in particular. My stomach hurt. It wasn’t a cramp. It was the sensation of air leaving my body in a rush. The truth hit me so hard, it knocked the wind out of me. Something new to serve and protect. Mariska.
The day I saw her in the gym, she was like a mythical creature. Something sailors encountered on long voyages. But was she singing me to safety or pulling me away from my proper course?
A small, rocky outcrop provided a seat. I leaned against it, resting my arms on my knees. She did so many things to me. She eased my pain. She made me relax. She made me laugh. She made me happy. She was mine.
Pushing my head in my hands, my hat slid back. My vision filled with scenes of me in the desert. Fearless, carefree, I went wherever the mission led. I didn’t look back or worry about who was at home. I didn’t write letters. If something needed to be done, I did it because it was why I was there. I’d always been that way. I was one of the best in the Corps as a result. Until the injury.
I was the same in private security. I was at the top of the pecking order, and I commanded the highest salary. Everyone did what I said, followed my orders. It was an acceptable substitute for where I really wanted to be. Until the drugs started, and I discovered people followed my orders in everything. They would do whatever it took to keep me working, even if it meant crippling me. I started out with one wound and came home with two, the second one invisible.
Which led me to this place. To this beautiful girl, who healed both my wounds. My leg was better than it had ever been drug-free, and the emptiness in my chest was gone. Now I tried to picture myself going back to the way I used to be. Going out with the guys, taking home whatever woman caught my eye. My jaw clenched. The notion of sleeping with someone not Mariska filled my stomach with disgust.
I could only see her long, brown waves, her small breasts and golden eyes blinking up at me as she came... Pushing to my feet, I started back in for the cabin. I didn’t believe I could change, but I needed to see her again. I needed to hear her voice and know what she was thinking. If anything, it would give me something to go on, a starting point for figuring out what happened next.
* * *
Mariska
My entire body was sore when I opened my eyes in the quiet cabin. I was warm under the Indian blanket and my thoughts traveled back over the day. We were at the lake. I held him, loving him, and he pushed me away. He wanted to be alone.
I’d give him alone.
I collected my remaining clothes, my torn sweater, and shoved them in my bag. His gray Henley lay across the couch, so I pulled it over my head before stepping into my jeans and boots. I was out the door, throwing my bag in the truck bed and not looking back.
Freckles was gone. Pulling his shirt over my nose, I took a deep breath of Stuart scent. My eyes closed and I imagined him somewhere riding her. He’d be angry when he came back and found me gone, but I had to do this. I had to force him to see what we had. I pulled down the visor and caught the silver keys. I loved him. It was that simple. I’d come here wanting him then I’d given him everything, and the more time we spent together, the deeper I loved him. Even if that meant I had to fight him.
His reaction to the idea of me leaving was definitely encouraging, if a little painful. A shiver moved through my body. It was also smoking hot. He was right... I did like it rough. With him at least.