Rough hands immediately went around my waist pulling me against his body. His mouth was at my cheek. “You know it’s not.”
“Let me go, Stuart.” My voice was stern, but he only held me closer. His hands scratched across my bare back, and the fabric of his shirt was rough against my sensitive nipples. Heat flared between my legs.
“All of this... it’s a lot to take in.” He kissed my temple, making his way down my cheek.
He had me. The warmth of his embrace, the intense pressure of him refusing to let me go was winning, but I pushed his arms. This time he relented, and I jammed the robe back around my naked body, tying the sash tight. Being silk, it was already slipping open again.
I turned so he couldn’t see me struggle. Closing my eyes, I exhaled slowly, finding control again. What I’d said to Kenny was in my mind. I couldn’t fight his battle. We’d reached the point where nothing I said or did mattered anymore. I had to be strong. He wouldn’t respect me otherwise.
It hurt. It hurt badly. It ripped my insides in two, but I said it. “Please stay away from me until you know what you want. I need you to stay away from me.”
Silence filled the room. I struggled to breathe as I died inside. If he fought me, I’d give in. It would be a mistake, but I wouldn’t be able to stop myself.
I heard the noise of his arms cross followed by a deep exhale. “That’s what you want?”
Nodding, I managed to answer him. “I’m headed back to Bayville. I’m trying to get a flight out Sunday.”
More silence. I was afraid to turn around. Finally he spoke. “It isn’t what I want, but if you need space—”
“I do. Thank you.”
His arms dropped. I waited until he’d left the room and closed the door to collapse on the bed, burying my face in my pillow. I thought of everything he’d said, and everything he didn’t say. As much as I loved him, I couldn’t be a casualty of his war. He’d said he wouldn’t put me in danger, but he didn’t say he’d never
hurt me. All I could do now was pick up my heart and keep moving forward, holding onto the hope that one day he’d see what I already knew.
Chapter 11: House Guests
Mariska
After our confrontation, I thought Stuart would go back to the cabin, but he didn’t. He joined the rest of the family, including our new houseguests, for Thanksgiving dinner that evening.
I’d managed not to cry, so I didn’t look like hell at the table. My stomach cramped, but somehow I felt strangely empowered by our showdown in my bedroom. I had to believe if the reason I’d flown all the way out here was true, if we were meant to be together, he’d see it and come around. If not...
Well, I hadn’t gotten that far.
“How lovely is this?” Sylvia exclaimed, smiling and wrapping her arm around her oldest son’s waist. “When I got here, I was afraid you’d stay out at that damn cabin the whole time, and I’d have to make Patrick drag you to the house.”
“I didn’t know you were coming.” Stuart’s voice was quiet. I wouldn’t look at him. It hurt like blazing hot knives tearing my insides.
“I’m glad you didn’t! I might’ve missed everything.” She was either oblivious to the tension between us, or she chose to ignore it.
Stuart’s uncle entered the room looking freshly scrubbed and quite handsome, and she walked over to him. “Why haven’t we been doing this every year, Bill? The ranch is lovely.”
He lightly touched her back. “I have no idea. It sure brightens the place having all these beautiful ladies around.”
She laughed, and Patrick and Elaine emerged from our wing straightening their clothes. I was pretty sure they’d just had sex. I suppressed a little growl, wishing it didn’t make me want Stuart.
“Is it time to eat?” Patrick crossed the room to kiss his mother’s cheek.
Her eyes sparkled as she squeezed his face. “You are always hungry! How is it possible you’re not fat?”
“Good genes.”
Elaine skipped up behind him. “He’s so full of crap. Derek’s been busting his butt for a couple of years now.” She squeezed his bicep. “I have zero complaints.”
Sylvia caught her hand, and the two walked to the table. “Where is Derek?” she asked. “I would love to see him again.”
“He was here last week, but you know he’s got a little son now—”