One to Leave (One to Hold 5)

“I didn’t!”

The two went on catching up, and I was left standing behind a potted ficus tree, doing my best to avoid Stuart while trying to act like it wasn’t killing me. The only other person in my boat it seemed was Nikki, but she made a beeline for Patrick’s side. The two of them chatted like old friends. Of course, Patrick chatted with everyone like old friends.

I was about to give up when Uncle Bill appeared at my elbow. “I can’t decide if I’m glad you’re back or not.” A mischievous twinkle was in his eye. “You seem to be giving one of my nephews a run for his money.”

My body was still tense, but I managed to smile as I took his arm. “I hope you’re glad I’m back.”

His rough hand covered mine. “I told you the first night, you’re always welcome here. I hadn’t realized how ugly Ron was until all the pretty ladies showed up.”

That made me laugh. Bill had the same easy personality as Patrick. “Where’s your pretty lady? You’re not such a bad-looking old cow poke.”

He shook his head, his thick brows lowering over his brown eyes. “That ship sailed a long time ago, I’m afraid.”

The way he said it hinted at a story, and I was curious to hear more. At that moment, however, Winona called us all to table. It was time to give thanks.

* * *

We were full of smoked turkey, stuffing, potato salad, and green bean casserole when we finally took our places in front of the fire. I’d managed to sit as far from Stuart at the table as possible, and now he lingered on the fringe of the room. His eyes were on me, I could feel them, but I’d also had a few glasses of wine. My stomach had finally relaxed, and I basked in an unmerited sense of power.

Bill, Patrick, and Elaine dominated the after-dinner conversation as always, and Sylvia joined them with matching energy. Nikki sat back and sipped her wine, answering whenever Patrick pulled her into whatever playful debate they were having. Apparently, Nikki and Patrick had become close the year he’d worked in Princeton, but she’d carried a torch for his brother the entire time. Great.

Finally, I decided to go to bed. Stuart still brooded in the background, and I was exhausted from not looking at him. When I got up and said goodnight, Nikki hopped up to join me. She was a new addition to our wing of the house, of course. I couldn’t believe I hadn’t thought of it earlier. Sylvia took a bedroom on the wing where Stuart and Bill stayed.

We said goodnight, and she followed me up the dim hall. “I’m sorry, I couldn’t help overhearing your discussion earlier. In your room.”

Her eyes said she might not be so sorry.

I tried to play it off. “It’s not your fault. I wasn’t thinking about where you were staying.”

“It sounded like you didn’t have time to think about much of anything.”

I didn’t have an answer for that, so I simply nodded. We were at my door, and I stopped, ready to say goodnight. Nikki wasn’t ready.

“Just between us, I’ve known Stuart a long time.” I didn’t care for the way she emphasized long. “He’s always been a... love ‘em and leave ‘em type.”

My eyes narrowed. “You’re speaking from personal experience?”

“Well, I don’t like to kiss and tell.” She blinked her stupid blue cow-eyes at me.

“Thanks for the heads up.” I couldn’t resist a little jab. “I think Stuart’s dealing more with knowing he wants to stay.”

She laughed. “If that’s what you want to believe. I’m just warning you.”

Suddenly, I didn’t like Nikki at all. Still, I decided the wise thing would be for me to go to bed. “I’m tired. If you don’t mind...”

“Oh, sure. Goodnight, Mariska.”

She turned and swished her stupid hips in her too-tight dress down the hall in the direction of her bedroom. It took all the self-control I possessed not to slam my door in her wake.

* * *

Stuart

Not approaching Mariska at dinner was almost more than I could take. The image of her naked in her bedroom with that green robe over her shoulders burned in my memory. I was starting to think I was obsessed, and dinner was nearly impossible with her so close. She refused to look at me.

Why the fuck was I doing this to myself? If I stepped back from what was going on, I’d see she was right. She was giving me an out. I wanted to go back to the desert. She opened the door for me to leave. Now I was the ass who wouldn’t walk through it.

I passed a restless night in my old bed. My thoughts continuously drifted to our night in the cabin and pulling her into my arms, her soft body in my hands, sliding deep between her thighs. I’d tasted what I could have, and now being without it was torture.