One to Leave (One to Hold 5)

My brother stood in the kitchen, leaning against the sink.

“What the fuck do you want?” I stood then, but my head felt like it’d been hit with a sledgehammer.

“Good morning to you, too, fuckhead.”

“This is no time to fuck with me, Patrick.” I pulled down a glass and went to the sink thinking he’d better move his ass.

He slid down. “What happened yesterday?”

Taking a sip of water, I glanced at his relaxed face. How could anyone be so goddamn happy all the goddamn time?

Slamming the glass by the sink, I stepped toward him. “Why the fuck did you come out here?”

His hazel eyes burned, and he straightened. His nose almost came to mine. “Bill’s my uncle too, asshole. I’m visiting my family.”

“You’re aiding and abetting, and I’m going to kick your ass.”

Derek was at the sink in two steps. Only one person outweighed and outranked me in this room, and his hand gripped the front of my shirt.

“I’m going to kick both your asses if you don’t settle the fuck down.” His deep shout filled the small space.

Patrick took a step back and went over to sit on the couch. “If you weren’t such a dick, you’d see what was right in front of you.”

“I’d see you laughing behind my back.” The idea of him and Elaine gossiping about me like a couple fucking teenage girls almost sent me into another rage.

Derek cut through the tension. “I don’t know what either of you are talking about.” He looked at me. “I came back to check on you, and you’re fucking back in this cabin looking like shit.”

I rubbed my face with both hands, taking a breath. The whiskey was gone, my head felt like a hammer, and my guts were shredded. Fucking women.

“I don’t need you here.” My voice was low, controlled. I wanted to be alone to get over this. Just like I wanted to be alone to get over the drugs. “I can handle this.”

Patrick exhaled a jab. “Still proud.”

My eyes flashed, but Derek stepped between our line of sight. “You saved my life, bro. I’m not leaving you out here alone.”

“Well, I sure as hell don’t need his ass here.”

“Dude, can you ever stop being such a fucking pussy?” Patrick spoke from the couch, and I took a step forward.

Derek stepped forward as well. “You really want to us to go? Would that help you?”

Going back to the sink, I turned to the square window. Snow would blow in soon, covering everything feet deep, isolating this entire region. It could happen tonight. I rubbed a hand over my eyes.

“I don’t know.” Looking down, I just said it. “I survived one battle only to find myself caught in another.”

The cabin was quiet. Thankfully, neither of them spoke. I didn’t want to hear what they thought I should do, with their fucking charmed lives. I wasn’t like either of them. Love wasn’t on my To-Do list. It was on my To-Don’t list, and then when it fucking appeared (unwelcomed), it kicked me in the balls.

“I need to get back to the desert.”

Derek’s voice was calm. “Okay.” He watched the fire a moment. “Your mom leaves day after tomorrow. Come back to the ranch, and we can see what’s available.”

I knew he was trying to get me from this remote location. I knew it wasn’t safe for me to be here alone with the weather looming. Still, the idea of seeing Mariska again was just... No.

“I don’t want to go back.”

Patrick’s voice cut in fast. “She’s gone if that’s what’s worrying you.”

Frowning, I looked over my shoulder. “What?”