Dirty Dealers

Blix’s text from last night is on my mind. He didn’t say much, but I know he’s watching. He’s always watching. I’m lost in thought when a pair of massive arms closes around me, stopping my heart.

“Where are you going so fast?” The deep voice is right in my ear, and I almost faint from relief.

“Logan!” I gasp. My body instantly responds to him. Heat floods my panties as his scent surrounds me. It’s warm cedar and fires burning. Even in this darkness, I can see his lips curling in that grin I love. “You startled me.”

His warm breath skates over my cheek, and I want him to kiss me again. I trace my fingers up his massive biceps to his broad shoulders. Shit, I can only imagine him naked. He’s so familiar, but at the same time, he’s different, bigger.

Threading my fingers in his soft hair, my wish is granted when he leans in and covers my mouth with his. Our tongues collide, and it’s hot and luscious. The soft brush of his beard moves against my cheek, and my fingers tighten, pulling him closer as my body melts into his.

Nothing has changed between us. He could fuck me right here in this stairwell, and I wouldn’t stop him. Only, I have to stop him. I’m not going there with him, especially not now, not with all I’ve done and what’s hanging over my head.

Reluctantly, and with a final pull on his warm lips, I step back, putting a little space between us, trying to regain control.

He makes a comment about my building not being safe before leading me the rest of the way down to his waiting motorcycle. I almost laugh at the irony. A helmet is on my head, and he’s roaring the engine before I can even protest. I’m on the back, holding his firm body against mine.

The helmet only covers the top and back of my head, and my nose is at his collar. I smell his rich, masculine scent. The heat of our torsos is electric, and I rest my cheek on his shoulder blade. It’s the most amazing feeling of speed and power and freedom and Logan’s body against mine. I allow myself to dream we could keep going forever, run away from everything, never look back. It’s only a dream, but it’s so seductive.

Once we’ve slowed down enough to talk, I can’t help teasing him. “You’re a bad boy now.”

I feel his body vibrate with laughter, and a thrill moves through me. I love that I can make him laugh. “I’m actually pretty good at some things.”

A sigh, and I remember how good he is at those things. The memories rush back on the strength of the sea breeze surrounding us as he takes off again.

He’d been my first. I’d wanted it to be him the moment I laid eyes on him under that boardwalk where I sat reading my silly book. It was so unlike me. I’d always been focused on books and music, and honestly, I was a little nervous around guys—especially big, masculine guys like Logan.

Still, he walked by, and all I could think was Quatopygia: The enticing movement of a man’s rear end…

“What’s that you’re reading?” he’d said, dropping to sit beside me on the sand.

The sea air pushed his glossy, dark hair around his face, around his straight nose and dark brow. His easy manner relaxed me, and I didn’t care he was a bit older than me. I’d been a year out of high school, nineteen and unsure whether to work or try to continue with college. He turned those gorgeous blue eyes on me, that perfectly square jaw, and I would have given him anything. Then he smiled, and my last shred of resistance disappeared.

After our first time, we were insatiable. He explored my body with all the enthusiasm of a modern-day pioneer—anywhere and everywhere—and it was thrilling and sexy and so incredible. I’ve never been the way I was with him that summer. I was wild and free. It was the best summer of my life, a dream. I had no idea everything would come crashing down shortly after he left.

Still, those memories are a blissful imprint on my brain. The bike starts to slow as we arrive at our destination, and I regret the loss of his heat when he gets off the bike. I take his hand, allowing him to lead me inside to a table covered with thick, fine linens and the most delicious smells of tomato and cheese and basil.

He orders champagne, and I can’t resist a tease. “Are we celebrating?”

My dark glasses still cover my face like a mask. I can’t help wondering if I take them off, if I show him every

thing, if he’ll see all the awful things I’ve done since he left me. He went away to become an honored member of the elite guard, and I stayed behind to slowly devolve into this thing I hate, my debts far outweighing my ability to pay.

“I feel lucky,” his low voice moves thorough my insides in a sizzling vibration that makes me laugh.

He’d ordered for me, and I’d been thrilled that he remembered Campania—the pastel-hued district in the shadows of Mt. Vesuvius. Naples is there, the ruins of Pompeii… We’d always dreamed of visiting its dreamy coastline, lost in time and so romantic.

We’d finished, and as if in a trance, I’d taken his hand, followed him through the busy restaurant to the bike.

Now, walking on our beach, all I can think of are the hours we spent here telling each other everything, sharing everything. Holding my arms tight around his waist, I rest my cheek again on his shoulder. I remember how he’d wanted to travel, too. It had been why he’d entered the military.

“Italy, Morocco, the desert…” I can still see him lying on the sand, long and bronze in the sun, telling me his hopes and ambitions. I’d wanted to stretch my body along the length of his and soak up his warmth like a cat.

“Go to exotic locations, meet the natives, and kill them?” I teased, quoting something I’d read and not really meaning it. I didn’t expect his defensive response.

“It’s not like that, Sass. I’d be protecting our leaders. Guarding our country’s existence.”

“I’m sorry,” I’d said quietly, wishing I could die. “I didn’t mean it.”

He’d touched my face and smiled, catching the wild strands of my hair blowing in the ocean breeze. “I know.”