My hands are on my hips, and I hold myself back, grinding my jaw against the pull of wanting to hold her. Her choice, my brain demands.
I see the driftwood partially buried in the sand in front of her, but I realize a second too late she can’t see it. Her ankle turns, and she starts to fall. One swift move, and I scoop her up, into my arms.
“Oh!” she cries, gripping my biceps.
Her soft body is pressed against me, and her face is right at my chin. Her breath comes in quick pants, causing her breasts to rise and fall just beneath the thin material of her dress. With her sweater pushed back, I can see she’s not wearing a bra, and all the lust I’ve been fighting shoots straight to my cock.
I know she feels it. Her lids lower, and her eyes are trained on my mouth. Her lips part, and I can just see the tips of her white teeth when she speaks, low and breathless. “Thank you.”
Desire overrules my brain, and I don’t stop myself. I pull her to me, covering her mouth with mine. It’s not a gentle kiss. It’s rough and punishing. It’s all the anger and the hurt and the worry she’s put me through these last days.
She meets me with equal strength. Her mouth moves with mine, and she tastes like mint and cool water. A little noise aches from her throat and fuck me, my dick gets harder. She’s soft in my arms, and my stomach fills with warmth, desire, possession.
How can I still want her so badly? She used me.
Breaking our lips apart, I look up at the sky. It’s thick with grey, swirling clouds. It mirrors the storm in my chest.
Kass’s forehead drops to my neck. She’s panting, and I feel her beaded nipples against my chest. I want to pull them into my mouth and suck them until she moans. I want to lower my pants and lift her skirt. I want to shove her panties aside and fuck her right here on this beach. I want it to be hard and angry. I want her begging me to forgive her, begging me for more.
I can see the whole thing, and it takes all my willpower to step back.
“I’m sorry.” I hold her arms until I’m sure she has her balance, until I’m back in control. “I’ll escort you to the house.”
“Yes.” Her voice is breathless.
Every touch is electric. Our chemistry is impossible to deny, but I can’t be with her if she’s not going to tell me the truth. I can’t let her tie me up in knots yet never let me inside her walls. It kills me because I want to take care of her. I want to protect her—it’s what I do—but I can’t force her to let me.
Once she’s clear, we walk side by side the way we came. I keep an eye out for debris or other hazards she can’t see, but I don’t touch her. We don’t speak. I’m still recovering from the intensity of our connection. The way she crosses her arms over her stomach, I assume she’s sorting out her feelings as well.
Another gust of wind sweeps around us, and my skin is sticky with brine. I taste the salt on my tongue.
“It’s going to rain again,” I say, looking out at the churning black waters.
She doesn’t respond. Instead her smooth brow wrinkles. “Ava said you’re watching Cameron.”
“I sent a team of guys in plain clothes to his apartment last night. They’re watching him.”
She nods, pulling her full bottom lip into her mouth a moment. When it slips out, it’s glossy, and I look away to block the images of me kissing her again.
“I can’t tell you how much it means to me,” she says, drawing me back. “I was so worried about him last night. He is the only thing…” She shakes her head and looks down. “He’s been the only thing keeping me going for so long.”
“You make it sound like something changed.”
Her bare feet make soft squeaking noises in the damp sand, and a ghostly white crab scurries away from our path. It’s as pale and ethereal as this beautiful girl at my side. This woman who holds my heart in her hand.
“When I came back…” Again, she’s choosing her words. I want to stop her and make her tell me what she’s holding inside. “I’ve been thinking about everything that went before.” She looks ahead of us, far in the distance. “I wish…”
The squeak of footfalls in the sand, the sound of breakers crashing on the shore. She doesn’t finish her wish, and we’re back at the boardwalk leading up to the enormous estate. I see Ava with Rowan on the back porch. His hands are on her waist and her hands are on his chest. He says something and she laughs, rising on her toes to kiss his cheek. On her way down, he catches her, covering her mouth with his.
It’s everything I want with Cassandra. Following her to the house, I watch the movement of her hair down her back, the graceful sway of her hips, her small feet, and I make a decision. I won’t give her up without a fight. Maybe our reunion was staged as a way to break me, but maybe I can take what Blix intended for evil and turn it into what I’ve always wanted.
Dirty Hands
Kass
It’s raining again. Time passes, and Blix is still in hiding. We remain at Occitan in a holding pattern, waiting. I’m not included in any of the discussions of what they’re planning or how they’re searching for him. It stings a little, but at the same time, I don’t want to know. If Blix does try to contact me or worse, somehow kidnap me, the less I know, the better.
Ava and I are