Wait for Me

When he looked at me again, the question in his eyes wasn’t really a question. I silently answered, and his expression… At least two of us got the wind knocked out of us this morning.

He staggered out the door with my little brother hot on his heels. Leon took off like a house on fire, but Sawyer hesitated, watching them through the window.

“You knew he was coming?” My hands shook, but I kept my voice steady.

“Who is he?” Dove studied me, but I managed to smile.

“He’s… an old friend of Uncle Sawyer’s.” How could I tell her about her daddy just like that?

She was temporarily satisfied and returned to coloring Angelina Ballerina.

I returned to my brother. “You didn’t think this was something you should’ve told me?”

“He got here earlier than I expected.” Sawyer stood and went to the door. “I’d better check on them.”

I put a biscuit on a plate and ladled grits into a bowl for Dove. “Here, baby. Eat your breakfast now. I’m going to work on my store.”

“Aren’t you eating breakfast?” Her brow furrowed.

“I’ll eat in a few minutes. You stay at the house.”

Grabbing a few items of food out the fridge, I took off—needing to get away, to decide what to do about this.

More than an hour later I’ve swept the floor, the walls, the mantle over the small fireplace… Cobwebs are everywhere, and it’s almost symbolic.

I sweep and sweep and sweep. My insides are trembling and fragile. I thought I’d moved past this, but tears stream down my cheeks, coating my face in saltwater. I use my shirtsleeve to wipe them away. I’ve probably got dirt all over my face as a result.

Akela is right with me, sitting at the door and watching my every move.

I half expected her to run after him. She always loved Taron, but no, my faithful dog remains at my side, standing guard just like always.

“Figures he’d just show up without a word or a warning.” My voice shakes as I talk. I don’t know if it’s from how vigorously I’m cleaning or from how hard I’m shaking inside… or both. “What do you think he wants?”

Akela’s head tilts to the side, and I wonder what she would say.

My broom hits something loud and metal. Another dead rat in a trap.

I look at the brown, limp carcass. “I know the feeling, bud.”

Using the broom, I scoot him out the back door onto the small pile in the grass. Akela watches, not going near the mouse mass grave. I should get a cat.

With a shiver, I go back inside to where a bucket of wood soap and a mop, sponges, sanders, and knee pads are waiting for me. I plan to spend the whole day scrubbing this place top to bottom.

I’m just stepping into my knee pads when the hollow thump of boots on the wood floors draws my attention. Sawyer enters the room, his brows pulled together. “What the hell, Noel?”

His tone takes me aback. I straighten, putting my hands on my hips. “What the hell yourself.”

“I thought he knew about Dove.”

My shoulders drop. “Are you kidding me right now? That’s what you’re worried about?”

“You said you told him.”

“I said I was going to tell him.”

“So what happened?”

I exhale a frustrated breath. “Life? You act like I was just sitting around intentionally not telling him. I had to drop out of school because of him… Then Dove came, and I had to take care of her. Then I had to get back in school so I could take care of her, and the whole time my store was blowing up. I had to keep up with all the orders… Hell, it’s still a challenge sometimes…”