I tap my fingernail on the side of my glass waiting. “What are you saying?”
“Short and sweet. I am in the bathroom. The one at my house.”
She exhales and flips her computer closed. “That’s the fifth Timber date I’ve tried. I’m done with that app.”
“What’s left?”
“Let’s see, I’ve tried Timber, Doodle, and RightyAphrodite.”
I inhale so fast, I start to choke. “That’s not… real…” I manage between coughs.
“Yes, that’s a real name. Don’t die on me.”
Shaking my head, I blink the tears out of my eyes. “What happened with the other two?”
“How much time do you have?” I hear her flopping on her couch, and I can just see her swirling her glass as she thinks. “First there was the guy who started out by telling me he thought he might be gay, but he needed to have sex with a woman to be sure.”
“You’ve got to be kidding.” I take a long sip.
“I only wish. I’m pretty sure I saw him out last week.” She pauses to take a drink.
“With a guy?”
“With another girl. It’s like that’s his go-to story for getting in a girl’s pants.”
“What a sleaze.” I walk to the kitchen and pour another half glass. “It’s like a reverse damsel in distress.”
“You really are too smart for words.” Muffled voices sound in the room behind her. “No, Ma. I ditched my date. He was sweaty and pinchy.”
Fussing sounds come from the background, and she’s back. “Where was I? Oh, there was the guy who said he didn’t date Asians.”
“Don’t you have a profile picture?”
“I have a whole gallery of pictures. He thought it was a joke, like a cosplay or something.”
“What’s that?” My nose wrinkles.
“No, the fuck, way.” I hear another, louder noise from her mom in the background. “Ma! I’m a grown woman! I just discovered something I know that smarty pants Drew doesn’t know.”
“Rude.” I can’t help laughing. “I guess your name isn’t super Asian-sounding, Ruby Banks.”
“It’s a stripper name. I know. It’s okay to say it.”
Again, I almost snort pinot noir through my nose. “Trashy hooker.”
“Oh, that reminds me of the guy who asked if I was a geisha.”
“To which you replied you’re Korean.”
She barks a loud laugh in my ear. “As if that redneck would know the geisha are Japanese.”
I take another sip of wine, thinking about what my dad said earlier. “How are you dating so many different people in Oakville?”
“I don’t date guys from Oakville. These guys are all in Timmons and Fireside.”
Nodding, I walk to the window, and my eye catches the flicker of lightning. “Hey, I’d better go.”
“I know. The minute you see lightning, you’re off the phone.”