A surge of victory shot through her as she gingerly held it between her two hands, not feeling the slightest bit of heat, instead it seemed to release a soothing tingle that threatened to swallow her up. Victory turned to dread in a heartbeat as the flame flickered dully, and began to rapidly shrink.
“Hurry! You must pass it on!” Hazel barely heard the Mother Guardian’s voice, but the second time was a shriek in her ear. “Pass it to the next woman. Now, Hazel!”
A second before the light faded altogether, Hazel quickly turned to the woman on her right and practically tossed it at her. As she caught it, it surged back to life, burning ten times more brightly and it was a comparison Hazel couldn’t ignore, although she desperately wanted to.
The peace was gone, replaced now with a mix of fear and horror and mortification that sat like a lead weight in the pit of stomach, dragging her down and making her wish on all the stars that she could just sink into the ground itself and escape the inevitable confrontation after the ceremony was complete. Hazel hadn’t even had the chance to repeat the ritual words, and standing there, suddenly, with her heart shattering into a million pieces, she felt like an outcast.
Chapter 3
Hazel had watched the rest of the ritual in near silence, trying to stem the flood of mixed emotions that threatened not only her own peace, she knew, but that of the circle itself. She had already proven that she didn’t have an ounce of spark inside her, she couldn’t turn the energy of the ritual negative on top of that. But it was so hard.
Finally, it was over, and as soon as the last woman spoke her words, and the Mother Guardian finished the rites, she turned to leave, hoping to get out of there without having to speak to, or answer to, any of the others.
“Hazel!” Elizabeth’s voice cracked through the night air like a whip, stopping her in her tracks and she tried to straighten her shoulders as she turned around, already feeling like a small child standing in front of a disappointed parent. She didn’t have to look like one too.
“Hazel,” Elizabeth said again, this time softer, and somehow so much worse for the tone in her voice. “Hazel, what happened tonight…”
“I know, I know. It won’t happen again. I’ll practice harder, I’ll try harder–.”
“…was unacceptable.” Elizabeth continued speaking over her as if Hazel hadn’t said a word. The Mother shook her head, a touch sadly, but there, hidden in the depths of her eyes, was something else, something glad, like she had just been waiting for such a reason to say the next words.
“I think it’s time that you leave the coven. I won’t force you to do it, as I have seen the…evidence that there is a power in you.”
Hazel cringed at the reminder of all her past failures, wishing even more that the ground would just swallow her up.
“…You are here because your grandmother was an amazing woman, an amazing witch, and you deserved the chance to become just as great. But I think it is obvious now for us all that you are not your grandmother.” Elizabeth paused, shaking her head for a moment before saying the words that Hazel had always dreaded.
“No, it’s clear to me now. You are much more like your mother. I only pray you don’t take the dark path she did.” The Mother Guardian finished sadly, but it was forced and insincere.
Hazel opened her mouth to deny her words, but she was cut off again before she could speak.
“Just think on what I’ve said. I’ll give you until the end of the month to decide.”
“But…but you’re my family. The coven is my family.”
Elizabeth’s look softened as she looked down at her, this time full of honest sympathy. “I know it hasn’t been easy for you, but I must think of the strength of the coven, Hazel. ‘Til the end of the month.”
And with those final words she turned back towards the group of women looking on curiously, the women she had grown up with, always felt accepted by, but now the sting of rejection tasted bitter cold as Hazel also turned away, facing the opposite direction and silently headed back to her car.
The short drive back to her home, the house that used to belong to her grandmother, was a battle. Hazel fought tooth and nail against the hot sting of tears that threatened to overwhelm her. The battle lasted until she was out of the car, running inside and throwing herself into the old, overstuffed couch in the living room.