Dad’s expression twisted with anger but also with guilt. When Gianna was gone, I approached him and touched his arm. “I’m fine, Dad. You can’t protect me from the fights lying ahead of me, but as your daughter, I’m well equipped to win them, so please don’t worry. Let me handle my problems with my own weapons.”
“I’d never thought watching you grow up would be so hard. I just want to lock you into a tower, far away from all the dangers of this world.”
I pressed a kiss to his cheek. “I can handle danger.”
Dad nodded, and I headed upstairs, back into my room.
Tonight, I wouldn’t seek shelter in Amo’s room. I had to make good on my words and find my figurative lady balls.
The next morning Maddox waited at the tattoo parlor as promised. The appointment took six hours, and he held my hand the entire time despite the disapproving looks from the bodyguards. We didn’t talk much. There were too many curious ears around, but just having him there made things so much easier for me.
Once the tattooist was done, Maddox admired my back. “Snow White, that tattoo will piss off the haters so much.”
I smiled but quickly shook my head when the tattoo artist wanted to hand me a mirror so I could check his work. “I’d rather wait until I’m home.”
Until I’m alone, was what I didn’t say.
Maddox’s lips tightened with worry, but I gave him a firm smile.
“It’s really amazing. Earl will turn in his grave, trust me,” he said.
“Thanks.”
“For what?”
“For being here.”
Maddox shook his head, lowering his voice even further. “I’m responsible for this shit. I’ll always be there for you if you need me.”
I nodded. My bodyguards motioned at the watch. We were supposed to be home by three p.m. and needed to hurry.
“I wish I could see you tonight,” Maddox murmured shortly before I slipped into the limousine that would take me home.
“I know,” I said. I longed for him too, but another visit would probably send Dad over the edge. “I’m going to Growl’s shelter in the morning to visit Santana again.”
“I’ll be there. Then I can check on the two dogs I saved from Cody’s junkyard.”
Maddox looked ready to kiss me goodbye but I gave a small shake of my head.
“Not in public, hmm?” he said. I didn’t miss the bitter note to his voice.
Maybe I was being a coward but I had enough on my plate and couldn’t deal with another public scandal right now.
I didn’t look at my tattoo until I was alone in my room that evening. After changing into my nightgown, I removed the cover and checked the tattoo in the mirror. I’d never considered getting a tattoo. I had seen the occasional piece of body art I’d admired for its artistic value, but I’d never understood the need to decorate my skin in such a permanent way. Earl White hadn’t given me a choice.
Mom always said women weren’t given many choices in our world, even today. Every choice was a duty in disguise with only one right decision, and endless options to fail.
But I had taken my choice back, had ripped it from the cold, dead hands of Earl White. The ugly words he’d forced into my skin were no longer visible. The tattoo artist Dad had paid extra had done a fabulous job. What once read “Vitiello Whore”, now simply stated Vitiello and where the whore had been below my name, I now had a gorgeous crown. It was intricate with gemstones and red satin inlays. The contrast of the red against my pale skin was gorgeous. It really was a masterpiece.
People had called me spoiled princess for so long, I might as well ink a crown into my skin. Maddox was right. Many people would be annoyed by my choice of tattoo. But I’d rather they despise me for being a spoiled princess who crowned herself than that they pitied me for words forced into my skin.
My choice.
I rode through New York until the late hours. I preferred the hum of my bike to the deafening silence in my new apartment. I’d never lived alone. Most of my life I’d lived under the same roof with loud-mouthed bikers. Silence was foreign to me.
I had on occasion felt lonely in the past, especially when I was younger and trying to find my place in Earl’s house and in the club. But afterward, I’d always had the company of my biker brothers or club girls. Now I didn’t have anyone to turn to.
The people I’d once called brothers were far away and possibly the enemy, and the people I’d called the enemy? Still wanted me dead. My list of enemies was stacking up dangerously high. And the woman who was the reason for everything? I couldn’t even see her to convince myself that it was worth it.