Making the Cut (Saving Dallas 2)

Luke hit the reply button and I was shocked at his one handed texting skills.

*She is still sleeping. Thanks. Love you too brother. Be safe.*

Why wasn’t Luke going to the meeting? Was it the one with Jeff? Was it because of me? I wanted to stay quiet just in case another message came through, but my stupid bladder had other things in mind.

“I need to pee,” I announced to Luke in a hoarse voice. I attempted to clear it, but my throat burned from my earlier screaming,-another reminder of that awful night with Frankie. Luke stilled when he heard my voice, but recovered quickly. He kissed the top of my head and swung his legs off the bed, carrying me, still cradled to his chest, to the bathroom. I didn’t have the strength or the willpower to fight him off as he sat me down on the counter in his bathroom and began undressing me. Once I was naked, he set me on my feet and moved to the bathtub. My head stayed down as I made my way to the toilet, afraid that if I looked at him, I would break once again. Just the sound of the running water was soothing and I couldn’t wait to get in. Luke left the bathroom and I took the opportunity to slide into the hot water before he got back. When he returned, he held a glass of orange juice in his hand along with a couple of small pills. He handed them to me and like a robot, I took them, draining the glass of juice before handing it back to him and lying back in the big tub. I thought Luke would leave, but instead he sat on his knees beside the tub and began bathing me. I watched his lathered hands as they massaged my feet and legs then moved up my body, not hesitating at my private areas that I would have rather washed myself. Luke worked his way up to my head, piling my hair on top and securing it with a band he pulled out of thin air. As he washed my neck and back, I kept my head down, avoiding his gaze. Hunched over, I took the opportunity to wash my face with my hands, feeling more alert when I was finished. Luke released the plug in the bottom of the tub, and grabbed a towel that sat next to him on the floor. He stood and threw it over his shoulder then grabbed me under my knees and behind my back and lifted me, carrying me into the bedroom. The whole process had taken only minutes and I had managed to avoid his face the entire time. I was dry, dressed in his t-shirt and under his covers when he finally spoke.

“Hungry?” he asked and I could hear the hope in his voice. I shook my head, playing with my knotted fingers. “Nanny made some soup earlier. Is it okay if I fix you just a small bowl? You haven’t had anything to eat.” I nodded my head, knowing he wouldn’t shut up until I agreed to eat something, and the soup did sound pretty good. Luke disappeared for a few minutes before returning and presenting me with a tray full of soup, a sandwich and a big glass of sweet tea. He turned the T.V. on and just like this morning, I ate in bed while watching cartoons.

The soup was probably the best I had ever tasted. I would give Nanny a job if she ever decided she wanted to become a full time cook. The Abbey could definitely use someone like her to work alongside three of the best cooks I had ever met. I thought of Stacy and how I needed to handle the possibility of him poisoning me. I mentally put that on my ‘things to do while Luke was gone’ list. I could probably get Red to help me; maybe we could reach out to her contacts and find out what was going on. I couldn’t believe how well I had handled all of this. The shit with Frankie and Luke and Stacy would be enough to put any normal person in an insane asylum somewhere. I guess I wasn’t very normal. I couldn’t hate Luke for the shit he had said to me or the way he had treated me. I felt like an idiot for just acting like it didn’t happen, but I would have done the same thing. Luke jumped to conclusions and handled things in a way that only the President of a MC could-by being intimidating and scary.

Shit.

Here I was, making excuses for him once again. I felt like one of those women in the Lifetime movies who keeps trying to convince themselves that’s their husbands are actually good people. Those women usually ended up dead or hurt. I was heading down that same path of destruction, and yet I didn’t seem to care. If I thought for a moment that someone I loved had betrayed me, I would have acted the same way. Of course, someone had and that person just so happened to be lying in bed next to me. I was setting myself up for failure. There was no way that this could work between us. Luke was a man who lived a lifestyle where he had to be two different people. If you took bipolar, mixed it with PMS, and added a touch of testosterone, you would get Luke. He was overbearing, intimidating, scary and unpredictable. He was also sexy, sweet and charming. What the fuck have I gotten myself into? Hell, even Jeff turned out to be a disaster. He had to be working with Frankie or a part of some shady shit, because if he didn’t then that meant my life was semi-normal. There was absolutely nothing normal about my life. Everything in it was fucked up, including the people I loved. I fit right in with the rest of this family, maybe that’s why I couldn’t let go. I sighed in frustration, aggravated at myself for not being able to just figure this shit out. When God was handing out normal lives, I must have been in the bathroom and got the leftovers. I was a smart woman who worked too hard to be lying in bed with a guy who fucked my brains out one minute and had me so scared that I almost pissed my pants the next. Maybe Luke being gone would do us some good. I needed some space.