Great, I even scared the innocent high schooler away. Maybe I should have led with something like, so high school… that was fun? Ugh, I was the absolute worst at small talk, and who actually enjoyed high school? I mean, really.
I rubbed my stomach again and suddenly wished for a giant pillow I could scream into as more laughter filled the air.
I eyed the really nice-looking black leather chair at the end of the hall. It was pointed away from me, the first chair in the living room, overstuffed, comfy. It wasn’t like I was told exactly what sort of chair I had to sit in to block the door, right?
And who got in trouble over a leather chair?
Decision made, I dropped the profile onto the metal chair and walked with purpose toward the living room. It couldn’t be that heavy, and it’s not like I was a little twig. I could handle a friggin’ armchair.
Silence ensued as I waltzed into the living room. I didn’t give them a second glance as I got in front of the chair, leaned over, and started sliding it toward the door. It didn’t budge at first.
I would not fail.
Not in front of them.
Come on, chair!
I put everything I had into it and finally got the chair moving slowly, slower than an injured turtle, down the hall.
It went something like this, sweat pouring down my face as I made a noise that probably sounded like a parakeet giving birth and the chair moving at about the speed of paint drying.
Turtle power.
I was going to have to take a break.
I was halfway.
I would not surrender.
I plopped down in the chair and let out a sigh, giving the guys major side-eye as they watched like I was a new reality show, only they were rooting for the chair to win.
Of course, they were.
“A little help would be great, you know,” I said under my breath. “But we wouldn’t want to ruin that perfect lip gloss.” Okay, that was a low blow.
Sookie flinched like he understood me.
Which made me narrow my eyes at him while he quickly looked down at his food and started shoveling it into his mouth as though he was ravenous.
Same, bro. SAME!
“That smells good.” I stood and took a deep breath. “But I’ll survive off air. Done it before; I can totally do it again, no big deal. It’s like that one time I was pledging for Delta Zeta and thought that if I just stopped eating for two days, I’d drop a dress size and look cute during pledge week. Totally nailed it, and I didn’t even pass out in the punch bowl, though I did start hallucinating after one beer.”
Was I really talking about passing out from alcohol in front of one of the biggest K-pop groups in the world? Yes, yes, I was. My blood sugar was clearly nonexistent!
“Honestly, though…” I grunted as I shoved the chair harder. It made a strangled noise across the floor. “It’s not like it would have mattered. They still let me in despite the fact that I didn’t meet their dress size requirements. Starving isn’t the way to live! People need food, you know? I would push each and every one of you off a cliff for a Dorito right now. Not like—” I bent over and pushed. “You can, even— Son of a bitch! Why is this so heavy? I know it’s not nailed to the floor because it is moving.” I paused and panted a few breaths. “Why am I even asking? It’s not, like…” I exhaled. “…you can understand me.” I held my breath and pushed harder. “If this is like childbirth, I’m not doing it. I mean not not doing it. That’s not what I meant. Oh man, I’m so glad you can’t understand me. I’m delirious. Do you even realize how long that flight is? In coach? I almost parachuted out then realized I’m afraid of heights, so I’d pass out halfway down.” I halted again and took a few deep breaths. “Almost there, ten steps, nine…” I had actual back sweat, but it would be worth it. I’d be comfortable. I almost quit when I was a couple feet from the door.
“I’m only taking a break,” I told no one in particular, realizing I now had as an audience every member of the group plus the cook as they watched in fascination. “Because I need to breathe, people need that…” puff “…to live, and even though you guys probably hate me, I want to make this work.” I fanned my face. “Why is it so hot?”
I bent over again to shove the arm of the chair when a pair of hands joined mine. I gaped as Rae, at least I think it was Rae from the picture and profile I’d just read, with his perfect blond hair and flawless skin, helped me push it the rest of the way, and within seconds the chair was at the door.