My Summer in Seoul

“Lift her every day, and you’d be—” Kai started and got shoved by Rae. “—sorry.”

He sighed. “She’s only heavy because you carried her down two hundred stairs.”

I ignored him and looked down at her face. She had high cheekbones, but her cheeks were still puffy, no, not puffy, just fuller. Her face was heart-shaped, just like her full, bow-shaped lips. She wasn’t wearing a lot of makeup, but she didn’t really need to; she had great skin, not that I was staring at her pores or anything—because that would be weird.

Her hair was very obviously dyed blond, and I wondered if she just liked the color or if there was another reason. Idols changed their hair color all the time. I was so lost in my thoughts I didn’t realize that we’d already reached our floor. I nearly hit her head against the door, attempting to get into our apartment.

“Where do I put her?” I asked. Nobody answered fast enough, so I dumped her onto the couch and took a deep breath as she somehow woke up and announced. “Did you hear that, everyone? I understand Korean now!”

“Yes. We heard.” Rae said in English. “I think the whole apartment complex heard.”

She fell into a fit of giggles, then fell back asleep, throwing a hand over her head and tucking her body into the couch.

“Well,” I wiped my hands on my jeans. “I need to shower after that workout.”

“Don’t forget,” Rae said to everyone in the room, me included. “We have rehearsal really early tomorrow, and then we have the Idol School variety show.”

Sookie was the first to complain. “Last time they asked me if I’d ever kissed a girl then made me sing one of our love songs to the camera.”

I snickered behind my hand. “It was good.”

He threw a pillow from the couch in my direction. “Every time we go on any show, they bring it up now!”

“As they should.” I laughed harder; it felt good. Poor Sookie had been so red that even I felt bad for him, and I typically don’t waste my feelings on others.

“Curfew.” Rae really did sound like a dad, but I didn’t mind. I was absolutely exhausted, and the last thing I needed was to be the guy who helped Grace while she puked her guts everywhere in the living room.

On second thought, I begrudgingly went into my room, grabbed a trash bin, and brought it to her near the couch.

The guys had all left the living room.

Leaving me alone with her.

Her arms were wrapped around her body like she was cold.

I looked heavenward and cursed. This meant nothing. Nothing at all. I even added a stomp for good measure as I went into my room, grabbed one of my blankets, and semi tossed it over her body.

I was halfway back to my room when I heard Grace whisper, “Thank you.”

“Anieyo.”

I was back to being as standoffish as possible, back to speaking only Korean in front of her, so she didn’t ask questions, so she didn’t get close.

The line was once again drawn in the sand.

It needed to be.

But later, when I was trying to sleep, I found myself wondering if she was okay, which pissed me off even more. Throwing my blankets over my head, I forced my eyes closed.

I roomed with Jay, who was completely out for the night on his side of the room.

He wouldn’t notice if I just took a peek.

Annoyed with myself, I got up and cracked the door but couldn’t see her face. I looked back to make sure Jay really was sleeping, then walked into the living room. I was wearing loose shorts and a white T-shirt. Hardly naked, but I still felt exposed.

She was turned away from me, breathing softly.

The blanket had fallen off her though.

I reached for it, yanked my hand back, and scolded myself, then reached again and pulled it up to her chin.

The minute I was getting ready to pull away, her hands snuck out and grabbed onto mine like a vise

This wasn’t good.

Stunned, I just stupidly stood there while she held my hands tight, like we were something more than friends when we weren’t even that.

I would take it to my grave, but it was the first time someone had touched me since I could remember.

I wasn’t comfortable with affection. The guys always gave me shit about it, but I didn’t like it—it made me remember. And it made me resent everyone else who had a family that hugged, a family that cared, a mom that fussed over how much I was eating, not how much money I was making.

Grace’s eyes were still closed.

She was probably dreaming about her family—maybe even a boyfriend. The thought sent a jolt of jealousy through me so hard and fast that I jerked away from her.