My Summer in Seoul

My hair stood on end. Rae stared straight ahead, his hands not even on the steering wheel. “Are you okay?”

I sighed and looked out the window. “We should get going.”

“Grace.”

“Rae.” I turned and stared at him. “I know you’re the leader, and you feel this heavy responsibility, but I’m not part of SWT. I just work for you guys. You don’t need to worry about me. I have tough skin.”

He opened his mouth as though he wanted to say something more but shut it again and instead started the van and pulled out of our parking spot.

I assumed the conversation was over—I assumed wrong.

“We’re not used to girls—women,” Rae said it so quietly I almost asked him to repeat it. “Some might say most of us are terrified we’re going to get jumped at any minute like Lucas did, cause a scandal, gain hate from the fans, and our careers are going to be over. But other than that…” I’d never seen Rae look so uncomfortable. “I remember crushing on this girl back in LA. We held hands at skate night.”

I laughed at that. “How very forward and scandalous of you.”

He pulled into traffic, smiling. “Yeah, at the time, I think I nearly passed out with each circle we did around the rink. A week later, I was in Seoul; two days after that, I was a trainee.”

I tried to read between the lines. “Are you saying girls scare you?”

“No!” he said way too fast. “No, I’m just saying, well, we’re careful. We have no choice, and on top of that, none of us have had time to even see our families, let alone date.”

“Wait!” I held up my hand. “You haven’t seen your families?”

“No.” His face fell. “Last Christmas was the first time in two years. The other two times, we were doing Christmas specials or touring or too exhausted since our schedule started up the very next day.”

My jaw dropped. “That’s horrible!”

“How is that more shocking than not dating?”

“Because it’s so much worse!” I exclaimed. “At least you still have time to date, but you can never get back memories with your family.”

He did a double take, his smile warm and suddenly not so guarded the way it had been when we first got into the van. “You’re not what I expected.”

“I’m going to choose to take that as a compliment as my ego probably can’t take another blow this week.” I winked.

“I mean it,” he said softly. “About before…”

“Let’s not,” I interrupted. “I’ll just want to punch you again.”

“You wanted to punch me?” He laughed, pulling into a spot on the street in front of what looked like a little convenience store or pharmacy. “Seriously?”

“I punch you every night in my dreams. It’s how I fall asleep instead of counting sheep. What? Is that weird?” I teased.

“Nah…” He reached over and unbuckled his seatbelt, then hit mine, his face inches away. “Not if it means you’re still dreaming of me.”

My eyes narrowed. “You would take it that way.”

“Hey, let me take it how I want. My ego’s fragile too.”

I looked up and laughed. A giant billboard ahead had SWT and their last photo shoot in shimmering lights for all to see. “Yeah, suuure.”

He followed the direction of my gaze and lowered his head with a smirk. “That’s not fair.”

“Seems fair to me. Okay, Tooth Fairy, let’s go grab your toothpaste.” I paused. “You do need toothpaste, right? You weren’t just trapping me to have a private conversation?”

“If I needed a private conversation, I’d just shove you into your room and lock the door,” he said, then scrunched up his nose. “That sounded worse out loud than in my head.”

I nodded in agreement. “It really did. Then again, you have the experience of skate night, so I’ll let it slide.”

I quickly got out of the van and waited for him to walk around. He slid on his black face mask and pulled his hat farther over his forehead, then put his hand on my lower back, whispering, “I never said I didn’t have any experience. I just said we haven’t had time to date.”

“Slut,” I teased.

He tripped on the sidewalk then shot me a glare before bursting into a laugh I felt in my soul. “Wow, thanks. I needed that.”

“Any time.” I smiled.

We walked into the store, and I immediately wanted to go on a shopping spree. They had everything from ramen to different sorts of candy and drinks in one spot, then toiletries and other necessities in others.

My feet naturally took me toward the ramen while my stomach grumbled like it had a vote too, and it voted for that.

“Got it,” Rae said from behind me.

I jumped and shoved my hands in my pockets. “Great, let’s go!”

I started to turn around when he grabbed my sweatshirt and tugged me back against him. “Hungry?”