Even if it was one kid who watched their video or listened to their music and decided to live another day. They mattered.
And their worth wasn’t in the approval of others, but in how they lived day by day, how they impacted the world.
Wow, they said kids became their parents. I was channeling my dad in a weirdly crazy way.
He’d always told me that.
“Who’s Grace Lee?” he asked while pushing me on a swing.
“Duh, Dad,” I giggled. “I’m just Grace! I’m gonna be an astronaut!”
“Fly high.” Dad chuckled. “I thought you were scared of heights.”
“It’s different in space, Dad,” I said like a know-it-all.
“Oh good, good, I was worried for a minute.” He was quiet as he pushed me. “What if space doesn’t work out, then who are you?”
“Grace Lee!” I shouted. “I’m your daughter.”
He stopped the swing and pulled me close. “No matter what, you’re mine; you’ll always be mine, Grace. If you fail, you’re mine. If you cure cancer, you’re mine. No matter what you do, your worth is in who loves you. Your mom and I love you. And would be proud of you if you decided to eat dirt the rest of your life.”
“Ewwwwwww.” I laughed. “Daaaad.”
He smiled. “Grace, your worth isn’t in what you do. That’s too big, right? Your worth happens every second of every day… when you help someone who needs help, when you love someone who needs love; it takes place in the small moments, not the big ones.”
I frowned. “I’m confused.”
“One day.” He kissed my head. “One day, you’ll understand that it’s not in the bigness of life you find yourself, but in that still small quiet voice that tells you to buy a homeless man coffee or to stand up for what you believe in. That’s who Grace Lee is.”
I missed him, my dad, but with my schedule it was so damn hard to call my parents. The band took up so much of my time.
I swiped the tears on my cheeks and tried not to look like a hot mess as I slowly got off the barstool and put my computer back in my room along with my air pods.
I fixed my makeup and went back into the kitchen to grab a water. It was already getting late. I could order food for the guys or cook for them.
I was about to ask when I realized that they were probably too tired to do anything right now, let alone think.
And since I once almost poisoned Sookie, I decided to order.
They kept different approved takeout menus in the kitchen. Normally I’d ask for help. I chewed my lower lip and then finally gave up and went into the living room. “You guys want to order something?”
I waved the menus around.
Kai held up his hand.
I handed him one, then Sookie.
Jay had already fired off what he wanted.
Lucas said nothing, just kept watching TV.
With a sigh, I turned to Rae, feeling sick to my stomach. And yet knowing that if I apologized it would do nothing because I was right.
I knew it.
And after seeing all those articles, I was even more resolute.
“I’ll help you order.” Rae jumped to his feet and grabbed a menu out of my hands. “I know what Lucas likes anyway.”
“It’s fine.” My voice cracked as we walked back into the kitchen.
Suddenly exhausted, I wanted to lay down and nap.
“Are you okay?” Rae put a hand on my shoulder. Apparently, he was over being mad at me for calling out Lucas.
It was sweet of him.
But it was the wrong guy comforting me.
I nodded. “Yeah, it’s just a long day.”
“Want to talk about it?”
No. Not at all. “Nah.” I forced a smile. “Actually, can you just order for everyone? I might go lie down.”
“Go lie down in the living room.” His smile was kind. “That way, I can wake you up when it’s time to eat. I’m going to surprise you.”
“Ohhh, with food?”
“You love food,” he teased.
“I do,” I agreed and put my hand on his arm. “Thanks, Rae.”
“Oh, sorry, am I interrupting?” Lucas said in a snarky tone as he walked into the kitchen and grabbed a soda. “Sorry, please continue.”
He left.
Tears burned the backs of my eyelids.
Rae said under his breath. “You sure you don’t want to tell me what you guys talked about?”
“Positive.” I swallowed the emotion that kept building up. “I’ll just be in the living room.”
My walk felt slow, difficult as I went into the living room and sat on the couch opposite Lucas, picking up then hugging a pillow.
Within minutes I was bawling.
“Why are we watching this?” I sniffed as Jay handed me another tissue. “Don’t pull out the sword!”
The guys looked so amused I wanted to burn the apartment down. Lucas ignored me.
And soon, I couldn’t keep my eyes open even though I wanted to know what happened to that sexy Grim Reaper and his perfect pout—even if I got injections, my lips wouldn’t look that good, I thought as I dozed off.