The rest of the guys came to the funeral, and so did CEO Siu and Assistant Solia.
I realized then that I had all the support in the world. I had just chosen not to use it because I felt weak that I needed it.
Grace was helping with that.
We were doing another performance for a US late-night show—remotely from Seoul—and I hadn’t been sleeping well, so I really didn’t want to perform, but I admonished myself it was worth it.
That any sort of traction we could get with the late-night hosts and their millions of viewers would be worth it.
I yawned for the tenth time behind my hand.
“Caffeine.” Kai elbowed me. “You need some; you’ve been hitting it hard.”
I almost laughed.
Every night since that one with Grace, I’d snuck into her room and talked with her for hours. Sometimes we just held each other, sometimes we talked about our families, life in general. Other times I kissed her, but I always stopped before anything got too crazy, and not because I wanted to stop but because I felt like if I didn’t, there would be no going back.
I’d be in her room every night stripping her naked, and eventually, the guys would find out, Rae would find out, and because of our friendship, it still felt like betrayal no matter how I looked at it.
I had to tell him about Grace and me.
Even though we were still “seeing where things went,” it wasn’t fair for him to think he had a chance when she was my whole world—when I was hers.
“Guys!” Grace barged into the dressing room; thankfully, we were all dressed. She looked gorgeous with her hair piled high on her head. A cute black tank top and ripped jeans added to the effect, along with her Nike high tops. “You have five minutes before the performance. Sookie, remember in that segment where you grab Jay’s hand, you have to pull it down, not across. Rae, try not to look directly into the camera at the beginning. You should be looking slightly away. And they added an extra, so just beware.” She looked at her notes on her phone again and shrugged. “Okay, that’s it. Have fun, boys!”
“We love you, Grace!” Kai shouted.
Jay laughed and did a little clap.
“Yeah, yeah, you guys owe me pizza.” Grace winked while Rae stopped her at the door and whispered something in her ear.
She blushed, looked over to me, and then shook her head no.
Hmmm.
“Soooooo,” Jay said to my right as he adjusted his mic. “Not that I’m prying—okay, I’m prying—have you guys…”
I squeezed my eyes shut. “I’m not answering that question.”
“What?” He smacked me on the arm. “I’m curious, all right? The sexual tension would make anyone feel horny, but she’s only here another few weeks.”
I sucked in a breath. “Wait, how many weeks?”
He frowned. “Three? Four?”
Kai and Sookie walked over, Sookie chugging an energy drink.
“Are we talking about Grace again?” asked Kai.
I groaned.
“What?” Kai shrugged. “You only have a few more weeks— Wait, does Rae know?”
“No,” Jay and I said in unison, while Sookie gave me a sad look, like he wanted to help but didn’t know how.
“You should tell him,” Jay said. “Before he puts a pillow over your head. Besides, you’re friends. He wouldn’t pursue her if he knew you were.”
But that was the thing.
I used to think that.
But now?
Now I wondered.
Did he know?
Did he see?
Was he still after her despite knowing how I felt?
My emotions were a mess as we walked toward the stage. Grace was behind the camera with her uncle and Solia. They all smiled at us.
I only had eyes for her.
The performance started and went off without any real issues, even though Sookie did forget part of the choreography in the middle. Nobody would know except us.
I tugged off my mic and handed it back in just as I saw Rae grab Grace and pull her away from her uncle and down the hall.
Like an idiot, I followed them.
Rae had her against the wall, towering over her. He leaned down like he was going to kiss her.
She shoved him away before I could yell stop.
“What are you doing?” she asked. “Rae, this isn’t you.”
His jaw flexed, and his blond hair was plastered with sweat like mine was. Finally, he sighed. “I was just testing a theory.”
“What theory?” She laughed, though her smile didn’t reach her eyes. “This isn’t okay. What’s going on?”
“Oh, this? This isn’t okay?” He laughed. “Wow.”
“Why are you being like this?”
“Is it okay when it’s Lucas?”
Her face paled. “What?”
“I’m just making sure I know the rules,” he said casually. “I mean, hasn’t he been sneaking into your room every night for weeks?”
“Oh, my gosh!” Grace shoved him. “We’re talking.”
“Ohhhh… you’re talking?” He made air quotes. “Really? You expect me to believe that?”
“Yes.” She put her hands on her hips. “Get it together, Rae. I like you, but not like this, not when the sane one starts being an asshole.”