Feral (The Wrong Alpha 2)
Page 56
No one said anything.
He took a long drag, eyeing Stefan idly. “You know, for the first time, I’m really convinced that non-shifter alphas are superior to Xeus alphas,” he said, his tone conversational. “If you were a Xeus, you would have been more likely to knot my childhood nanny, and this little scene would have been very awkward. More awkward than it already is.”
Stefan glared at him.
Devlin’s lips twitched, his gaze cold. “Though, I suppose I should have said ‘my mother,’ right?”
Ilona made a choked noise.
Stefan’s eyes hardened. “Listen, you—”
“Leave us, Stefan,” Ilona said quietly.
To Devlin’s immense surprise, the king did as he was told. With a last hard look at Devlin, he left.
And then they were alone—he and the woman who had given birth to him. The woman who had lied to him all his life.
Devlin stared at her, and he wasn’t sure what he felt. He thought he should have hated her for lying, but all he could feel was confusion and… hurt. Yes, hurt.
The silence stretched.
“I’m sorry,” Ilona blurted out at last, wringing her hands, her eyes wide in her pale face. “I’m so sorry.”
Devlin looked away for a moment. “I don’t need your apologies,” he said. “I want an explanation.”
“It’s… a long story,” Ilona said.
“I have time,” Devlin said, looking back at her.
Ilona chewed on her lip, her expression troubled and uncertain. It was kind of funny how easily he could see his features in her face now that he knew. People truly saw only what they wanted to see. It was kind of ironic that it was the lesson this woman had taught him as a child.
“I was seventeen when I started working at the palace as a maid,” Ilona said at last. “Your father was already married to his first wife and had a son with her. When we met, it was…” Her gaze became distant, a crooked smile curling her lips. “It was attraction at first sight. He smelled perfect to me—he smelled like mine—but…” Her smile became sadder, bitter. “But he wasn’t. He was already married. And he was the king. A man who had a responsibility to his country and his family. I ran away from him, back to my hometown. I didn’t trust myself. I didn’t want to be the other woman—and that’s all I would ever have been if I’d given in to the attraction between us—even though he was my true mate.”
When Devlin sneered, Ilona laughed a little. “I know you probably think true mates are a thing of fairy tales—I thought the same way, too—but if the last three decades have taught me anything, it is that true mates are real. I did everything to fight the pull I felt toward your father—and I mean everything.” Her eyes were glistening now. “I returned to my hometown, waited for my heat, and gave myself to another alpha. I hoped it would work. I hoped my first shared heat with another alpha would help me bond to him. But it didn’t. Nothing ever worked. I still felt the yearning for Stefan. But I became pregnant with another alpha’s child. And I married him.” Her voice dropped to a hoarse whisper. “Stefan arrived the next day. I’ve never seen him so angry—and so broken. He called me a whore and left.” Ilona gave a humorless smile. “See, I’m the reason Stefan despises omegas. He thought I slept with another alpha because I was loose. He didn’t understand that I had done it because I didn’t want to be loose. He was a married man. I didn’t want to break a married man’s family.”
“And then what happened?”
“I had two children with Charles—my husband—before he died in the war,” Ilona said, dropping her gaze. “Truth be told, I was… I was relieved when he died. I’m not proud of it, but… But do you know what it’s like to share a bed with a man you don’t love when your heart beats for another?”
Devlin didn’t say anything. He was too blindsided by the reminder that Ilona had other children—his siblings.
Ilona was quiet for a while before continuing. “A few days after my husband’s death, I received a job offer from the palace.” She gave a brittle smile. “I know I should have declined. But I had two little children to think about. Our financial situation wasn’t good, and it was a really well-paid job with room and board included. I had to agree—or so I told myself.” She shook her head, her lips curled. “In hindsight, I was weak. Weak and foolish. After years of fighting it, I gave in. I wanted him. I yearned for him. Only him.”
Devlin looked away. He wished he could make himself despise her, but… all he felt was pity. He couldn’t really fault her: she had been young and vulnerable. Stefan had so much power over her, aside from having age and experience on his side. He knew Stefan had become the king and married his first wife very young—at fifteen—but he’d been a grown man by the time he met Ilona. He had no excuse.