Illicit (The Wrong Alpha 3)

“I never said that he needed it,” Liam said. “All I’m saying is that alphas are very visual creatures and the first thing they notice is looks.You can’t fall in love with someone’s soul if you haven’t spoken to that person first.” Liam smiled crookedly. “I’m perfectly aware that physical appearance isn’t enough to make an alpha fall in love. He must actually like you as a person.”

Jules shifted uncomfortably. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be silly,” Liam said with a faint smile. “It’s not your fault Westcliff didn’t fall in love with me.”

After a moment of awkward silence, Jules cleared his throat a little, and looked back at the list in his hands. “What about Elena Wickham? She is a daughter of an earl, perfectly eligible, and rather ridiculously good-looking. Actually, you kind of look alike.” Jules made a funny face. “That’s probably good, considering...”

Liam pursed his lips. Elena Wickham. She really was gorgeous. Liam had met her last season, and her manner was perfectly pleasant, too. Liam honestly couldn’t find a single flaw in her.

He hated that he wanted to find one.

“It’s all well and good for us to pick an omega for Anthony, but he must agree to the choice too,” Liam said. “Did he give his permission for this?”

Surely he hadn’t?

“Well, not really…” Jules shrugged. “But I’m sure I can guilt-trip him into considering it.”

Quashing the urge to bare his teeth like an animal, Liam said bitingly, “And you think he’ll be happy in a marriage he was guilt-tripped into?”

Jules’s face crumpled. “I’m just trying to help,” he whispered, his eyes watering. “At least I’m trying, Li!”

His heart aching, Liam sat down next to his baby brother and hugged him awkwardly. “I’m sorry,” he croaked out. “I’m sorry for putting you in this position.”

Someone cleared his throat behind him. “Could you leave us, Jules?”

Liam’s heart attempted to escape through his throat. Taking a deep breath, Liam lifted his eyes.

Anthony’s gaze was on Jules. “Please,” he said, his voice very serious and steady. “I need to talk to Liam.”

Jules opened his mouth to protest but then closed it as his eyes locked with Anthony’s. Slowly, he nodded and left.

At long last, Anthony turned to Liam, clasped his hands behind his back, and looked somewhere to the left of Liam’s eyes. “First of all, I would like to apologize,” he said, his voice unnaturally stiff and proper. “The way I’ve been behaving is unacceptable—reprehensible and irresponsible. I should have never touched you that way, much less… From now on, I will do my best to act like the family alpha and brother you deserve.”

Liam stared at him, feeling like the ground was moving under his feet.

He couldn’t speak. What… What had brought this on? Had the conversation with Jules really affected Anthony that much? What had Jules told him?

In the meantime, Anthony continued, still not quite looking at Liam. “I will even agree to Terlaine’s suit. But only if you really want it. Don’t marry him to escape from me—you’ll ruin your life. You deserve better, Li.”

Feeling his throat tighten, Liam tried to swallow the painful lump in it and the shameful, embarrassing words that threatened to leave his lips. I deserve you. I want only you. Please don’t do this.

“He’s probably the best option,” Liam heard himself say, as if he didn’t yearn to close the distance between them, bury his face in the hollow of Anthony’s throat, and beg him not to do it.

“The best option is—someone who’ll make you happy,” Anthony said, his voice as rigid as his posture. “If you’re worried about me, you don’t have to. I’ll control myself.”

Liam nearly laughed. Who said I can?

“All right,” he said with a forced smile. If Anthony could “control himself,” so would he, dammit. He wasn’t going to beg him. He had his pride. Besides, it was the right thing to do; he understood it rationally. “I understand.”

Anthony gave a stiff nod before finally looking him in the eye. “Just promise me something. Don’t accept Terlaine’s suit yet. Don’t rush into marriage. Promise me.”

Liam pressed his lips together, frustrated and more than a little confused why it mattered to Anthony so much. If he couldn’t have Anthony, why did it matter when he married Terlaine? Wouldn’t it be better to just—jump? Prolonging the inevitable wouldn’t change the situation. Prolonging the inevitable would only make it more difficult the longer he stayed around the man he couldn’t have. It was just cruel.

But fuck, he was weak. He couldn’t say no to this man. Despite everything, he still wanted to please him.

“All right,” Liam said.

Some of the tension bled out of Anthony’s shoulders, but his eyes remained grim, glinting with strange determination. He turned on his heel and strode out of the room, as if he couldn’t bear being in the same room with him a moment longer.