Illicit (The Wrong Alpha 3)

Liam felt a surge of dark satisfaction for making him feel ashamed, but the satisfaction was short-lived. He hated not having Jon’s eyes on him. He wanted Jon to look back at him. The world felt wrong if this man’s attention wasn’t solely on Liam.

Beside them, Ant cleared his throat. “There’s no need for passive aggressiveness, Li,” he said in a placating tone.

Liam ignored him. He bored his eyes into Jon until he finally looked back at him. Something inside Liam positively purred in satisfaction, like a starved little monster that had gotten what it wanted.

Jon’s nostrils flared. “I think it’d be better if Liam and I have a word in private, Anthony,” he said, still looking at Liam.

“This is neither the time nor the place for that,” Ant said with a sigh. “Can’t it wait? Your fiancé must be waiting for you, Li.”

“He isn’t Liam’s fiancé yet,” Jules cut in, giving Liam a meaningful look. “Terlaine will wait. Go talk to Jon, don’t be stubborn. There are a few empty rooms by the main stairs. Use one of them.”

Liam glared at Jules. Now he was suddenly supportive? “People will talk if I’m seen leaving the room with an alpha. After the incident with Eric, I’m under more scrutiny than usual.”

Ant snorted. “It’s just Jon. He doesn’t count. He’s my brother, so he’s your brother too.”

Liam nearly laughed. Ant had no idea.

“Not in the eyes of society,” Liam said.

Ant rolled his eyes. “Fine. I’ll go with you and wait outside while you two talk.” Laying a hand on Liam’s shoulder, he steered him toward the rooms Jules had told them about, with Jon following them. Finding one that was empty, he ushered Liam inside, let Jon enter too, and learned against the wall outside, pulling out his phone. “Don’t take long.”

Jon shut the door, the sounds from the ballroom cutting off.

And then they were alone.

Chapter 23

Silence had never felt so thick.

Liam licked his lips, his heart beating so fast he felt nearly dizzy with it. He didn’t know what to do with his hands, so he crossed his arms over his chest and smiled bitterly. “Jonathan, huh? How nice to finally learn your name.”

The alpha winced. “Look, I know you’re angry—”

“No shit,” Liam bit out, forcing himself to stay where he was. It was so much harder than it should have been. His body wanted to move forward. His body wanted to close the distance between them and latch onto this man like a parasite in need of sustenance. It was like fighting the current of a strong, mountain river. It took all of his willpower to stay still. He had to remind himself that he was angry. Of course he was angry. He was furious. He didn’t trust this man. He couldn’t trust him. “You could have told me. You knew how horrible I felt about—about wanting my own brother, but you said nothing!”

Jon’s expression became tight. “I couldn’t. I wasn’t absolutely sure myself that I wasn’t Anthony.”

“What?” Liam said with a laugh.

“To pass the lie detectors of the Inheritance Department, I had to use the services of a telepath—there are Calluvian mind adepts who do that kind of thing for a fee—a very high fee—if you know the right people. The telepath adjusted my memories to make me think I was Anthony.” He sighed. “The plan was to make the telepath restore my real memories as soon as I passed the security checks, but apparently the man I hired got into an accident and was out of commission for a while. It was just bad luck.”

“You mean… you mean you really thought you were Anthony while we…”

Jon shook his head. “As an intelligence officer, I’m used to having my identity faked through memory implants. There’s actually technology—technology that I can’t talk to you about—that does something similar, so I could recognize the signs of memory tampering and I was reasonably sure I wasn’t actually Anthony. But I couldn’t tell you that until I was absolutely sure. It was dangerous for you to know too much in any case. My handlers would have memory-wiped you if I did.”

Memory-wiped him? That was actually possible?

Liam looked at him uncertainly, despising himself for how badly he wanted to believe him. “I thought your mission was unsanctioned.”

Jon smiled humorlessly. “It was. But I knew that when my superiors eventually tracked me down, they would ‘clean up’ after me if I was compromised. If I told you too much, if you became too much of a security risk, they would have wiped your memories of me. You would have forgotten me.”

Liam stared at him, biting the inside of his cheek, hard. “Why—why did you leave so suddenly? Why did you confront Uncle Wayne in that way?”

“I saw how much our relationship was tearing you up,” Jon said quietly, looking Liam in the eye, his gaze steady and honest. “I needed to know for sure and tell you my real name—but I had to learn it first. I mistakenly thought my mission was authorized by my superiors and they were the ones that locked my real memories away for the mission. I thought I needed to finish the mission first—that’s the normal mission protocol before I could return to headquarters to get my memories restored.” His lips twisted into a bitter smile. “It didn’t work out like that. I was too hasty. Irrational. I fucked up.” He chuckled without humor. “But then again, that entire mission was one giant fuck-up. Because of you. You were something I didn’t prepare for.”