Shelter (Heroes of Big Sky 2)

“Me, too,” Cara agrees and sniffles. “And now I know why he loves you so much, Remi. Damn it. I’m getting all sentimental.”

I step into the clean pajamas that Jillian brought in, and once I’m all clothed, Jillian pulls us in for a group hug.

“I know I feel gross, but thank you both so much for helping me. Now I have to fall back into the bed.”

They laugh and wipe at tears, then help me back to the bed. Jillian actually tucks me in and kisses my forehead, and when another cramp moves through my belly, and I moan in pain, they’re there to talk me through it.

God, it feels like I’m going to die.

I manage to fall asleep. I can hear people speaking softly around me, but I’m so weak, so exhausted, I drift. The cloth is on my head, and then it’s gone.

I toss and turn.

And then I have to run for the bathroom again.

Finally, what seems like an eternity later, I hear Seth.

“What’s wrong with her? What’s going on?”

“Food poisoning,” I hear Jillian say. They whisper. And then he’s with me, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me against him. He kisses my forehead.

“Oh, baby. I’m so sorry.”

“Sucks,” I mutter with my eyes closed. “So tired.”

“Just sleep. And then we’ll get some broth in you.”

The mention of food makes my stomach roil. But lying here with him feels so good.

“If you need me, just call,” Jillian says, and I open my eyes.

“Thank you.” I reach for her hand, and she lets me take it. “Thank you for saving me. I was scared.”

“You gave us a scare, too. But you’ll be okay, and Seth’s here with you. I’m just down the road.”

“Thank you,” I say again and fall asleep against Seth’s chest.

I’m wrapped in a blanket, sitting on the front porch swing. It’s past midnight. I feel like I went four rounds with the champ.

I needed some fresh air, so I tiptoed out of the bedroom, grabbed a blanket, and came outside. Seth was sleeping soundly, and I didn’t want to wake him up. I kept thinking about Jillian and Cara and everything they did for me today.

They cared for me.

And while my mother has never been mean, she was never a maternal person, at least with me. She was with my younger siblings, and it always confused me.

But now that I’m in a loving relationship and have spent a good amount of time with Seth’s family, I think I get it.

I was a daily reminder of the man that she couldn’t stand. I was with her because of duty. But I wasn’t part of her ideal family. And, damn it, that’s not my fault.

Seth’s experience, once his dad married Jillian, could have been the same. But it was exactly the opposite. Jillian loves him as if he came from her body. His family is affectionate and loving, and no one is left out. No one is ever made to feel like they’re less than.

My mother’s lack of a decent-parent gene isn’t my fault at all. And I think it’s time that I let that go. It could stay with me, make me angry, frustrate me. Or I can just accept that she is who she is and move forward. If she’s missing from my life, that’s on her. Not me.

It took coming to Montana and meeting some incredible people to make me realize that.

“Here you are.” Seth shuffles out onto the porch and joins me on the swing. “I got worried when I couldn’t find you.”

“I’m sorry. I thought you’d sleep through it.”

“How are you doing?”

“A little better. I’m not throwing up anymore, so I consider that a win. I just feel weak and tired.”

“I’m so sorry that you got sick, baby.” He wraps me tightly in his arms and sets the swing into motion. The stars tonight are insanely bright, and an owl hoots in the distance.

“I’ll never eat corned beef hash again in my life.”

He chuckles and kisses the top of my head. “I don’t blame you there. I don’t think I will either, in support.”

He’s quiet for a moment, and then he says, “You probably shouldn’t go to the Halloween party tomorrow, you know.”

I scowl up at him. “Damn it, Seth, that’s just mean. I really wanted to go.”

“I know.” He kisses my cheek. “But you need to rest, babe. You were so sick.”

I pout. “It’s not fair.”

“I’ll stay home with you.”

I shake my head. “No. You’re volunteering. You should go.”

“No way. If you don’t go, I don’t go.”

He kisses my head.

I bury my face in his shoulder and breathe him in. He smells like the soap in the shower and like…Seth.

It’s the best.

“We should probably go back to bed,” he finally says.

“Yeah. But let’s sit here in the quiet, just for a few more minutes.”