A Kade Christmas

I did that. Fuck me. I did that.

I turned off, heading into a different section of town.

“Oh my God, Logan.” She sat up, seeing where we were going.

I pulled in, went to the buzzer, and put in the code. The gates started to open and I asked, “You remember this place?”

“It was the old amusement park.”

I drove in. It’d been abandoned back then. It wasn’t anymore. “James kept us abreast of the changes. He wants Mason and me to take over his company, and maybe one day, we will, but when he was deciding what to do here, I asked him to refurbish the roller coaster, bring it up to date so it can still be used.”

“You did?”

I shot her a grin as I pulled into a parking slot. “He didn’t, but a couple of years ago, I invested, and I brought it back.”

“Logan!” Her eyes wide, her voice in awe.

I had to take a moment, just a moment.

She was so beautiful. She always had been, always kind. It was the kindness that undid me.

“You forgave me.”

“What?”

“Back then. You forgave me, and that’s the day I realized I loved you. But I decided to fight for you on that roller coaster. I wanted you to rip me apart, and you didn’t. You did the opposite. I’m a fighter. It’s what I’ve known all my life, and you never gave me that fight because it’s not what I needed. Since then, you’ve let me call the shots. You let me set the pace, and I don’t know where I fucked up”—my voice cracked—“you’ve always let me be me, and I’ve always needed you. I leaned on you, and you let me, but fuck, Taylor. I have made a complete mess of everything if you—”

I had to stop.

The years started flashing in front of me.

Our first Christmas.

Graduation.

After graduation.

Moving to Boston.

We followed Mason there, all of us. Taylor came with. She did that for me.

“I’m so fucking sorry.”

“Logan, no.” She started to reach for me, but I stopped her.

I caught her other hand, now holding both of them, and I shook my head. “I didn’t want to grow up. I didn’t want to lose what I had. You should’ve left me long ago.”

“Logan, stop.” She was crying.

I was doing it again, causing her pain.

“I am so sorry.”

“Logan, stop!”

“You were terrified to tell me you’re pregnant.” Not okay! I took her in, seeing the love there, the sadness for me, and I looked down at her stomach—my kid. My kid was in there. I dropped my voice low, barely a whisper, “I thought for a long time, and I wasn’t quiet about it. You let me be me, but I wasn’t letting you be you, and I have failed you. I’ve failed to be a partner in the way I should’ve been because I was so scared of failing to be a partner to you in the way James has been. That’s on me. I have fucked up, but Taylor…” I couldn’t look away from her stomach. Right there. In there. A part of me and a part of her, and holy hell, I was going to be a father.

A kid.

Wait.

My chest tightened. “It’s not twins, is it?”

She laughed. “No, at least I don’t think so.”

I released my breath. “Thank God. I love Mason’s kids, but the twins are little shits.”

She laughed again. “Maddie called them that too.”

I grinned, reaching over and brushing one of her tears away. “You thought I’d be mad?”

She paused, stilling, then nodded. “Yeah.” The word left her in a rush. “I knew how scared you were to have kids, and yeah…” She drew in another breath, holding it. “You’re not mad then?”

“No. God no.” I reached over, letting go of her hand to place my palm over her stomach. “It’s different now. Everything’s different.”

She stilled under my hand.

I leaned down, resting my head on her stomach, almost wanting to feel the kid, whomever he or she would become.

My God.

A mini-me?

Maddie was already enough, but she had mostly Mason in her.

I looked up. “If it’s a boy, he’s going to be a demon.”

She laughed, more of her tears falling free. I was hoping they were from relief, and she combed her hand through my hair, cradling my head. “I’m prepared. We should set aside a bail fund.”

Yeah. That sounded about right.

Man.

I’d never felt this. Not when Taylor first kissed me. When she told me she loved me. When we moved in together. Not even when we married. That’d been my best night, or I thought. Nope. Today was. Today was the best day of my life.

I looked up at her. “We’re having a baby.”

She smiled down, tracing her hand down the side of my face. Her eyes were tender. “We’re having a baby.”

It was done.

I was complete.

I took her hand, pressing her knuckles to my mouth, pressed a kiss there, but then I reached up. I pulled her down. Her lips found mine, and my entire world shifted.