Daphne Vs. Daddy

“By calculating their birth dates, duh,” he says. “I put each character onto a timeline and then hung the timeline around my—”

So, he finishes that sentence, and I don’t even interrupt him. But I can’t tell you what he’s saying ‘cause if I spare any more brain cells for inane blathering, I’m afraid I’m going to lose IQ points.

Note to self: The next time I’m so desperate for a date, and I think Fredrick is a good idea, remind me to take the evening and wash my hair. Twice.

Fina-fuckingly, we stand up from the table at Five Guys and head out the door. I want to cry, Nobu57 one night, Five Guys the next…

How did I fall this far this fast? What did I do to deserve this?

I wave down a passing yellow cab and start to climb in. “Hey, hold on, let me come with,” Freddie says and slides in next to me. I shrug. Whatever. He can pay for my cab ride home; I’ll let ‘im. My bank account could use the help.

Except, after I give the cabbie my address and settle back into my seat, Fredrick isn’t settling back into his. He seems to be inching his way toward me, instead.

“Ashley, I just have to tell you that—”

“Fredrick, you need to put your seat belt on,” I say, cutting him off. I’m not about to let him finish a sentence that starts out with that ominous wording.

He huffs out a breath and buckles himself in. Suddenly, the back seat of the cab doesn’t seem nearly wide enough. Despite the fact that he’s strapped in over there and I’m strapped in over here, he’s still way too close for comfort. As if proving that fact, he reaches over and pats my knee and then leaves his hand there. “It’s really sweet of you to care about my safety like that,” he says softly, staring at me.

So I tend to have a pretty bitchy mouth, but even I can’t tell him that I could not care less if he lived or died. I finally settle on a non-committal, “Hmmm.”

Undeterred, he blunders on. “Look Ashley, when you fell on me the other day at work, I thought at first that you were just klutzy but then you finally said yes to a date with me, and so now I know that you were trying to show how much you li—”

The cab pulls to a stop and before he can say another word, I quickly unbuckle my seat belt and slide out of the cab, leaving Fredrick with the tab. After all, I let him feel me up for a whole two city blocks. Surely he can pay a cab bill.

I’m heading up the sidewalk to my apartment, fumbling through my purse for my keys; where are my goddamn keys? And then I hear him behind me.

“Ashley, wait, I wasn’t done!” he calls out. My hand closes around my keys just as his hand closes around my arm. “I really think we have something special between us,” he says, sliding up toward my tits.

Oh hell no.

“Fredrick, you’re wrong,” I say, my hand firmly wrapped around my keys…and the miniature can of mace that is attached to them. “I’m sorry, I just don’t feel anything for you.”

“Now come on,” he says in a patronizing tone of voice. “I think we both know what’s happening here. You’re just scared of what you’re feeling for me.” His hand is now on my breast and I’m pulling my can of mace out of purse and aiming it straight at his…

He’s gone, thrashing through the yew brushes lining the sidewalk, howling as he goes, and in his stead is…Apollo?

124

Apollo

“Ashley,” I say, my palms facing toward her. “I—”

“Don’t step

any closer,” she says, waving the mace can in the air menacingly. Or, at least, what I assume is supposed to be menacing. She mostly just looks like she’s doing an interpretive dance with a spray can in her hand.

“Do you really think you’re going to spray me with that thing?” I ask, a smile flirting around the edge of my lips. She really is adorable. I can hear the guy who’d attacked her yelling threats in the background but, not sparing him a glance, I simply flip him the bird. I’ll deal with him later. For now, I need to get Ashley to calm down.

And put the damn mace away.

I couldn’t believe my luck; I had come over to talk to Ash, to make her understand that I have to make these decisions, when I saw that asshat attack her. If I’d been 30 minutes later…

“You’re okay now,” I tell her, my voice calm, level, soothing. “He’s gone. You can put it away.”

“I know he’s gone!” Ashley yells at me. “Maybe I’m pointing it at you!”

I smile. “You don’t want to point it at me,” I tell her. “You’re actually excited to see me.”