Brittney Vs. Banker

Chase: And right now, the best of TV goes without a doubt to just one show.

Nadia: Manhattan Reign.

Chase: That's right, Nadia. And I don't know about you, but last season was tough to beat. The show has some pretty big shoes to fill this year.

Nadia: Word on the street from the lady who does my waxing is that they're looking for some new blood to spice things up.

Chase: I mean, it's already about a single billionaire dad in New York City who gets hit on by all his daughter's friends. How much more spicier do they want?

Nadia: Well, all I can say that my spies have told me is that they're looking fo

r a foreign exchange student that moves in.

Chase: Wow. I just got kind of hard at picturing that. A cute, young, foreign exchange student in the home of an older Manhattan billionaire.

Nadia: If you want, we can role play that later?

Chase: You're the best girlfriend ever.

Nadia: As long as you let me call you "Daddy".

Chase: So that's something that's going to happen this season I think on Manhattan Reign. It's going to be interesting to see that play out on TV between the new foreign exchange student and the father if they decide to get busy.

Nadia: Ooooh yeah, it's going to be so hot. In fact, I want to DVR the episode when they first do.

Chase: Oh boy. I think I know what's coming.

Nadia: That's right. In case you're wondering, audience, what we're talking about...

Chase: That's right folks. The New York Daily Journal Television section just named Manhattan Reign as the #1 TV show in America.

Nadia: But more than that...

Chase: Right. They also named Manhattan Reign as the best television show to masturbate to.

Nadia: That just means one thing, ladies. Grab your man. Or grab your vibe.

Chase: Because if I know Nadia...

Nadia: Then you know Chase's head is going to be between my legs as we watch the next episode of Manhattan Reign.

Chase: Will I get a chance to watch the show too? Or will I just be getting you off?

Nadia: Silly rabbit. That's why we have DVR. We'll watch it while I come. And then we can play that over and watch it while I give you head. Sound fair?

Chase: Makes me wonder how old people lived before DVR.

Nadia: Ooooh, you can't say old people on television, babe. We might get fined for that shit.

Chase: Right. I forgot. Anyways, we're counting down till the night of the Manhattan Reign episode, folks! Who will fuck who? What marvelous depravity does television have in store for us now?

Nadia: Join us to find out. On...

VOICEOVER: Manhattan Reign!!

Sasha

“She definitely looks like a bitch,” Laurel says, taking a large bite out of her pizza slice. She’s already on her third slice, and there’s no sign of her slowing down. With a strict diet of microwave pizza and instant noodles, I’m surprised she hasn’t ballooned up.