Chase: Just to make sure everyone is caught up on the rules, here is a recap. Any virgin that has her pussy penetrated by a billionaire gets kicked off. The billionaire that did the penetration gets to kick out another billionaire. As billionaires fuck virgins and eliminate other billionaires, finally two people - one virgin and one billionaire will remain. At this time, if the virgin gives up her v-card, she loses and the billionaire wins. If she keeps her virginity, she wins. If they fall in love, she declares him her One True Love and they share the prize.
Nadia: That’s right. So the person that’s left is set basically, they will be walking away with the combined entry fees of all the billionaires who sought to participate – a cool $2 billion dollars – as well as the fabulous One57 penthouse apartment that the show filmed in.
Chase: These may be billionaires, but $2 billion is $2 billion. No one is that wealthy that they turn down that much money.
Nadia: And let’s not forget the apartment. Money can’t even buy you a corner penthouse in One57 anymore.
Chase: So true. To be the true royalty of New York City means doing it only one way.
Nadia: What’s that Chase?
Chase: By banging virgins and then eliminating your competition!
Nadia: So true. But after one season, we’ve come towards the end of this competition.
Chase: Correct. After a season filled with twists and turns and revelations, we now have one virgin left – Megan Wright – and two billionaires vying for her hand.
Nadia: I don’t actually know if they’re vying for her hand, per se. More like the space between her legs.
Chase: You’re absolutely right Nadia. The billionaires, Tristan Kane and Madden Sires, are in fact vying for her to let them be the first one to stick their billionaire cocks inside of her.
Nadia: Now Megan is allowed to engage in all other types of sex. Anal, oral, and all other variations are acceptable as long as there is no vaginal penetration and breaking of the seal. We all remember a certain President, of course--
Chase: I don’t think we’re able to discuss politics on the air, Nadia. Stick to safe subjects like virgin pussies and dripping cocks. This is broadcast television, remember? There could be kids watching.
Nadia: I’m so sorry everyone. I don’t know what came over me. As I was saying, the billionaires are going to be trying to get into Megan. Now it’s up to her to pick a contestant to give away her flower to. Or, if she chooses to hold out, she can become a billionaire herself.
Chase: That’s right. Should Megan keep her virginity intact, she will go ahead and win the apartment and the money.
Nadia: Madden has slept with four virgins. He eliminated 4 billionaires as per the rules of the game. The virgins he conquered were removed from the show.
Chase: And Tristan slept with two virgins. But he won the single immunity prize at the beginning, making him immune during the final elimination round.
Nadia: It threw a bit of a wrinkle in the show because now we have two billionaires vying for the same virgin. Only one person will win. The next several days promise to be very interesting.
Chase: But only if you tune into the 24 hour reality show that’s taking America by storm.
Voiceover: The Biggest Licker!!!!!
Megan
“Okay, Megan, you’re the last virgin standing on Biggest Licker. Just tell the camera how you feel.”
I nod at Maya, the production assistant, and take a deep breath as I get ready to give my confessional. It won’t be hard to act excited. This is what I came here for. To win the grand prize. And I’m so close I can practically taste it.
I center myself, knowing I need to give Maya exactly what she wants with this little speech. It’s only been five minutes since the live eviction, and they called me straight up to my room before I had a chance to do more than hug Tristan and Madden.
Maya holds her hand up, indicating the camera is about to roll, then drops it quickly and leans forward as if she just remembered something.
“Don’t forget, you’re waiting for the right one. These viewers aren’t interested in how much you need this money. They want to believe you’ve been holding on to your v-card all this time for love. That’s your angle.” She rolls her eyes and smirks, showing just how ridiculous she thinks that idea is.
Not that I blame her. It is a bit ridiculous. I mean, a house full of virgins? And then there are the billionaires, whose sole purpose on Biggest Licker is to seduce us, make us give it up. If the producers get their way, I’ll end up handing over my v-card before the upcoming season finale and they won’t have to pay up.
But they have another thing coming. They have no clue how much I need that money. I remained a virgin all through college. I think I can keep that status firmly intact for one more week. Especially since all the guys have been eliminated except for Tristan and Madden—though if I’m going to be stuck in a house with a couple billionaires vying for my attention, I don’t think there are any two I’d rather be with.
I suppress a shudder thinking about how miserable it would be if any of the other sleaze-balls had made it this far with me, then decide to just go with those thoughts and focus on who is here. I smile as the light on the camera flicks on.
“Oh my god,” I gush, “I can’t believe it. I’m the last virgin standing!” I clap my hands and go for a dreamy expression, knowing that’s just what Maya wants. “And with Tristan and Madden? I don’t think there are two sexier men I could be in this house with.”