The worst part? Madden is nothing but a player. He always has been. Okay, that may be the pot calling the kettle black, because I’ve had my fair share of women come and go on the regular. But not like Madden. The difference is that he’s way
too reckless. He doesn’t give a shit. He goes through women like they’re a daily multivitamin—taken for their purpose and immediately forgotten.
Whereas I only get involved with women who know what they’re getting into, who know where we stand. I make sure no one gets hurt. Madden gives zero fucks who might get hurt.
And that’s not okay. Not when it comes to Megan. She’s too sweet for him. I won’t let him have her. Not in the end. But I sure as hell won’t let him hurt her either.
The Biggest Licker Season Update
Chase: Hello and welcome to another installment of our analysis of The Biggest Licker – the most popular reality show on TV. I’m your host, Chase Worthington.
Nadia: And I’m your co-host, Nadia Moore. We have breaking news.
Chase: That’s right. In case you missed it because the network couldn’t air any more of The Biggest Licker last night, both billionaire contestants have now viewed mysterious surprise tablets delivered to their door.
Nadia: That’s right, Chase! We have positive confirmation that both Tristan and Madden have now seen Megan with the other man.
Chase: I mean, I gotta be honest. I can’t imagine what both men are going through. If I ever saw a video of you, Nadia, with another guy as he made you wet for him and then made you cum on his tongue before sticking his cock in your mouth…
Nadia: You’d be jealous?
Chase: Well…
Nadia: Hurt?
Chase: I’d be jealous sure, and upset….
Nadia: But?
Chase: Well, I’d also be sort of turned on…
Nadia: Oh. My. God. Because one of the things I totally have on my bucket list is to get fucked by two guys. Like maybe two big strong guys. Not some weak ass vegetarians—
Chase: You can’t make fun of vegetarians on television, Nadia. We might get fined!
Nadia: Oops. Right. Let’s just stay safe and talk about getting fucked by two cocks. This is broadcast television and kids are watching, so I should have known better. Sorry, audience!
Chase: Anyways, as we were saying, we have a major stage set for the two men to come to grips with each person’s attraction to Megan.
Nadia: Remember if Megan manages to hold out without giving up her virginity, she has to pick her One True Love as per the rules of the show.
Chase: The One True Love will share with Megan their lives together in addition to any prizes from the show. And hold the title of The Biggest Licker.
Nadia: Speaking of prizes, be sure to download the new app for Apple and Google smartphones to stay connected to The Biggest Licker while you’re on the go!
Chase: You can also buy The Biggest Licker branded merchandise on the app!
Nadia: Everything from lace thongs for you, golf clubs for him, and baby bibs for that lil’ bundle of joy that happened after watching our show 9 months ago!
Chase: Be sure to sign up for The Biggest Licker credit card, offered through Mastercard, and you could win double points on all qualifying purchases.
Nadia: That’s right! You can redeem points for vacation travel or other merchandise!
Chase: Operators in India are standing by to sell you as much of The Biggest Licker merchandise made in China as you want!!
Nadia: And when you’ve had your fill of all the rampant commercialism, make sure you make your way to the television set today, as we see what happens to Tristan and Madden as they compete for the ultimate prize. The quest to become…
Voiceover: THE BIGGEST LICKER!!!!!