I shake my head again. I'm not interested. I'm too hurt. I feel like I’d been betrayed, like Thomas had ripped out my heart and stomped all over it.
"Just think about it, okay? Lisa says. "And stay as long as you need."
She's a great friend.
After two days, I need to go home. I have no extra clothes, and I feel bad about wearing Lisa’s stuff all the time and eating her food. When I go back to my own apartment, I feel like I'm a different person than when I left it. I feel ten years older, grimy, and down in the dumps. I go back into bed and switch off the light so my room is perpetually dark. It echoes how I feel inside.
On the fourth day, I have enough. There's only so much moping around I can do before I get sick of it. I get up, shower, and get dressed. I think about what Lisa said. I don't think Thomas deserves anything from me, but Lisa had been right. What if it had all been lies? Jessica hadn’t let him get a word in edgewise, and I had no reason to blindly trust her.
I want to see him one last time. Even if it's just to confirm that he's an asshole and to get closure, at least.
I take a cab to his apartment building and walk in through the front door. When I sign myself in, the doorman shakes his head.
"Mr. Silber doesn’t live here, anymore," he says. "The movers already cleared his apartment."
My stomach sinks. I'm too late. "There’s no way I can reach him?" I ask.
The doorman shakes his head. "He left no forwarding address," he says.
I sigh.
"Are you looking for Thomas?" someone asks behind me. I turn around. A blond man in a polo shirt stands in front of me. He looks well put together, like he’s just stepped out of a magazine.
I nod.
"I’m Luke," he says. "Thomas asked me to oversee the final arrangements. It’s why I’m here. Are you Nicole?"
I nod again. "I just wanted to speak to him."
Luke shakes his head. "I’m sorry. I think he left this morning, early. He’s on his way back to Elanda."
I'm too late, then. I feel like I want to cry. I really messed this one up. If only I’d gotten over myself sooner and come to see him. I might have been able to catch him before it was too late.
"He told me about you," Luke says. "For what it’s worth."
I frown and look up at him.
"You’re the only one that he would've given it all up for, if he could."
I shake my head, confused. "What are you talking about?"
"What he felt for you," Luke says like it's obvious. "You changed him. He stopped chasing random girls and doing stupid things. He settled down. I think you were the one that got away."
He sticks his hand into his pocket and takes out a note. "He wanted me to give this to you if you stopped by."
I unfold the note.
Mon Coeur ne bat que pour toi
"What does it say?" I ask.
Luke shrugs. "I don’t speak French."
I leave the building. In the cab, I type the words into Google Translate.
My heart only beats for you.
I phone Lisa. "He’s gone," I say. "Back to Elanda."