"Hey, you’re in my spot. Get your own spot."
I open my eyes and realize that it’s morning.
I fell asleep on the park bench.
I don’t even know how long I was on the bench. I was slipping in and out of consciousness as I realized that no matter how many times I rethought Plan A, to go and get my things and stay in a hotel and then get a flight to New York, it was something that my body didn’t want to do. It just wanted to stay here, but then I couldn’t take both Daniel and Colt fighting one more time. I didn’t even know if I could handle Daniel by himself. The guy has issues; the way he spoke to me as if I’m some kind of trash really got to me. After all, he was indirectly calling me a whore.
What happened to him?
He was the one that made me feel like a woman and then ran out of the bed as if what we had done was wrong. After Zach, I’d decided that I wouldn’t give my heart away like that again. Not that Zach had my heart after all it turns out; I got over him in a heartbeat, but I’m out to enjoy myself. And God, do I enjoy myself whenever I’m with Colt. I’m not going to feel guilty for it. Especially after the way Daniel behaved, he’s worse than a child.
"Did you hear me?"
A woman with a cart’s prodding me as if I’m a piece of meat. She’s trying to get me to move from her spot. I feel like telling her that I’m not ready to leave, after all I never saw her name on it.
"Go and get your own spot!"
She’s shouting at me to move and people are staring at us. I know that they’ll all start saying the same thing to me. That I’m violating the hobo’s space and I need to go home. Or wherever I belong.
I stand up, not feeling like going anywhere right now. I don’t want to go to the house and face the two men that are driving me insane at the moment. I just can’t take the risk, especially when I didn’t know my own mind.
I search inside my purse and hand her a twenty-dollar bill. That’s all I’ve got in my bag. I try and dig deeper to see if I can get her more.
She laughs at me, "I don’t want your money. If I did then I would have said, I need some money and my bench. But, I didn’t. I just said that I wanted my bench."
Wow, she’s a real feisty one. She’s not messing around, and she’s making me feel the same way that Daniel did in the restaurant: stupid!
She repeats herself, "Can you move from my bench?"
I take a deep breath and move away from her bench. I’m even tempted to ask her to share it as I look around and see the other ones are occupied. There are quite a few joggers taking a break or couples from the previous night on the town.
I shrug as I think about what I really need to do. I have to go back to the house, if anything just to make sure that they hadn’t killed each other. They seemed to be intent on fighting over me. I wish that I could say that I was worth it. But I didn’t think that I was that special until they flirted with me. Not the way that Zach would flirt. It wasn’t an "I want to fuck you" sort of teasing. More of a "you’re so fucking hot and I want you," sort of teasing. Which was what drew me to both of them.
And their good looks, sure, but they’re so different. Daniel has a 8-pack and is well-groomed, but now I’m attracted to him because he’s older and he’s really got the mature factor working for him. Apart from last night when he acted like a child.
As for Colt, he’s going to be a football star for sure. But, behind it all he’s a pussy cat. He has this bad-boy exterior but I’ve seen a different side of him.
"Good luck!" The woman shouts out to me as I slowly start to move away from her. I look from side to side to see if she’s talking to someone else as I drag my feet to the car. Sleeping in these heels was not a good idea. My feet are killing me.
"You were mumbling in your sleep, and besides, your type don’t belong on the street. Whatever it is you’ve decided to face, good luck."
"Thanks," I shout back, thinking that this woman shouldn’t be on the streets and then I realize that she mentioned about me talking in my sleep. I wonder exactly what she heard and I’m about to turn back and ask her, but then I see that she’s fast asleep in the same position I was in before she woke me up. She’s right. I need luck. I also really need to freshen up and tell them the truth.
I send Sandra a message telling her not to book the flights. She calls me after that, and I explain to her that I need to face something here first.
"Go get them, girl," she tells me.
I pause as I think about it. Sandra knew me well enough to know what would keep me from leaving.
Because the truth is I don’t want to be with just my stepbrother, but my stepdad too. I’m crazy about them for completely different reasons; they can’t expect me to choose. Because, I don’t want to.
Not now.
Maybe not ever.
Daniel
The business numbers are all a fucking blur. I'm sitting in my home office and every time I add a line in my Excel sheet, thoughts of Karen come back to me. It can be a smell, a sound, a picture… fucking anything will set my mind reeling. And then there's Colt. I heard him stumble in during the early hours of the morning.