Jake grabs my hand and holds it, and we stand up, and the whole audience cheers. Like, really applauds with such fury that I think those laugh track sitcoms will want this reel for their use. I have never had so many people applaud for me, even if past audiences that saw Jake and I have sex, like in the club, enjoyed it. This is so different. In a way, Jake's viewing audience went on this incredible journey with him. I learned this in the interview process—these women who watch, who come (haha) on the show—they grew with him and he showed up on their TVs and changed their lives. Now, Jake has shown the whole world that he claims me...that I'm his. I can't think of anything more powerful or special that could be shared with me.
"I can't believe you just did that...you're the best ratings boost any show has ever had," Jake whispers in my ear. "Did you like me fucking you in front of all of America?"
I bite my lip. "Fuck," I whisper.
Jake laughs. "Don't you work for the FCC...or wait, ‘fuck’ is actually one of the things we can say on our show. There are some other things we may have to discuss..." Jake kisses my cheek.
"Yes, I think knowing that a huge percentage of Americans watched us swap cum tonight and saw you fuck all of my holes...well, that's not something this woman's spank bank is likely to withdraw. That was intense," I tell Jake.
"You're intense," Jake says, his hand squeezing mine. "I have never felt like I was having sex on TV before. With you...that was even more. That was so intimate yet so exposed...I guess I might get why you enjoy this whole exhibition thing," Jake says.
I burst into laughter. The very reason I met this man is because he was a national orgasm donor, going down on women right on TV. While we dated, we've fucked in public in just about every place we could. But now that we fucked on his TV show, every which way we could, now he's starting to see the appeal of exhibitionism?
I mean, let this be a lesson to be women of the world everywhere. You don't have to understand everything about your man, and he doesn't have to understand you entirely, but when you two are right for each other, absolutely everything else will feel like it falls into place. I never had to worry about working up the nerve to do anything I did with Jake, ever, because my heart was willing to take a chance. And I'm so happy that I did because I love him more than I even knew I could love someone.
I mean, just ask the viewers what they saw...when they change their panties, I'm sure they can report that they saw how passionate the two of us are. And sex that gets its heat from love? Well, I've learned that's what happily ever afters are made of.
Layla
I bring a glass of wine into my living room where Lori’s already sitting on my couch with her own glass.
Sitting down with a happy sigh, I say, “I’m so glad all of that is behind us. The past few weeks were really stressful feeling like we were at odds.”
Things have turned out better than I could have hoped for A Cunning Linguist. After the country went pretty much crazy—in a good way—over the episode where we all lost our minds and fucked on live TV, there’s no way the FCC could cancel the show. Not without all kinds of pushback.
Plus, and probably more importantly, Lori has done a complete one-eighty after what happened between her and Toby.
“I know,” Lori says regretfully. “I hate that I put you in such a position. If I had any idea...Well, I’m sorry about making everything so difficult for you with the investigation. I hope you aren’t angry.”
“Girl, please. It all worked out for the best.”
“I know.” She still doesn’t sound like she’s okay with how she handled the investigation. “I just wish I hadn’t let my anger and humiliation over the entire situation get the best of me. I just took the rejection so personally. After my divorce, it felt like the last option to finally find some kind of happiness with myself.”
Damn, I had no idea she was dealing with so much. She never let on about any of it. That’s what girl friends do, right? I mean, I know I’ve always told her all about my sexcapades. Not once did she make me think that her sex life was shitty. Just goes to show that there must be more women out there that need help from someone like Jake.
“So, yeah,” Lori continues, “I let all of that influence my decision to come down on ACL so hard.”
“Lori, don’t be so hard on yourself. You got what you wanted in the end. You finally broke through all that old shit and can finally let yourself enjoy sex.” I grin at her mischievously. “Speaking of which, what’s up with you and Toby?”
She grabs my arm. “Oh my God, girl, it’s so crazy. We had the filthiest, dirtiest sex imaginable last night after we left the studio.”
I hold my hand up to give her a high five. “The live broadcast sex wasn’t dirty enough for you?” I tease.
“I know, right?” She shakes her head, laughing. “I can’t believe that I’ve been missing out on that kind of kinky fun all this time.”
Laughing, I wiggle my eyebrows. “Are you seeing him again tonight?”
She shrugs. “I don’t know. Probably not. We may see each other again, but I don’t want to get serious with anyone. Now that I know all the fun that’s out there just waiting for me, I want to try it all. Lots of flings out there, you know.”
Holy shit. Who would've thought that my prudish boss would turn into a total sex fiend? Good for her. “That’s right,” I say, amused. “You get yours, girlfriend.”
We giggle, and then she turns speculative eyes on me. “What about you?”
“Me?” I take a sip of my wine.
“Yes, you. Are your days of flings and no-strings sex a thing of the past now that Jake Kent is making you come on the regular?”
Who is this new Lori? She’s kind of fun. “Nah,” I say casually, “this might end up just another fling. I don’t know how long it'll last.”