The only problem is, we’re still stuck on the promotional trailers.
I don’t know why. I just can’t feel as sexy right now.
Maybe it’s the fact that there are so many people around me, seemingly interested more in their own tasks than on my nearly naked body.
Maybe it's the fact that the last time I did this was with Robert, and that man makes me feel singularly unsexy.
Or maybe it’s the fact that I’m here under false pretenses. That Ethan thinks I’m going to be the new face of his product.
When I’m actually here to steal it from him and give it to Simon.
I mean, sure, Man Chasers LLC was all about deceit. But I was there deceiving men who were too stupid to realize they shouldn’t be cheating on the woman that they pledged their lives to.
If a man was going about doing that, and willing to cheat on his wife, then fuck him. He deserves everything that he got by fucking me.
But this is…different.
Simon is paying me to lie. But he’s also paying me to steal.
I have no idea why, but I do know that if I don’t do this, he’s not just going to not pay me. He’s going to destroy my life.
Tell me something, hun. If you were in this situation, would you even feel remotely sexy?
I mean, I felt sexy every time I did porn. But no one was holding a metaphorical gun to my head. I wanted to be there, under those lights, seducing on camera.
Apparently, not only am I not being sexy now, but I’ve stopped even being remotely attractive because the photography director shouts out, “Okay, everyone, let's take five!”
I sigh.
If I don’t get my act together then I’ll have fucked this up before I even get a chance.
I need to somehow catch Ethan’s eye. Then I need to get my way into his trust. And then I need to find what I’m looking for and take it.
I can hand it to Simon and then get the hell out of here.
I’ve saved up several million over the years; I can easily relax and live off of it for a few years. Maybe go to Paris. And then Rome. And maybe Venice.
I’m thinking about Venice and if there’s ever a chance to be a modern day courtesan again when I see him.
There, coming into the studio.
Ethan Kane.
You remember how I gave you that sob story basically about me and my situation? Told you it made it hard to feel sexy?
Well, I hate to say it because it makes me totally look so wishy-washy, but honestly, just seeing Ethan now is getting me kinda tingly.
I mean the other day, you saw me when I did the audition. I came during a lap dance.
I’ve never been a stripper or anything. Like I could never be that cold and money hungry every minute. When I get turned on, I totally go all the way.
Well, I went farther than I intended I think. You remember? I mean, I know I was telling you that I lost complete track of the people around me.
God, I came so hard on top of him.
And then once I got home, I came so hard thinking about it. And don't let me even get started about that night at the restaurant …
And now, looking at him come into the studio, and look around in confusion as everyone takes their five minute break, I forget all about my troubles.