Oh. Fuck.
“Kakvo Kazvash!” the voice yells on the other end.
“He says the missiles are ready for launch if you’re lying,” a voice says and I notice that the President’s Russian translator is behind him. I didn’t even notice him.
You remember as I was fucking Abby and her hands were going all over the place as she was squirming?
Remember the phone she grabbed?
I’m just realizing right now. It was red.
“Dimitry, we have no desire for war! I swear to you! The US and Russia have come a long way together. Don’t let two stupid kids cost the lives of billions of people!” the President yells. Beads of sweat are forming on his brow.
My cock starts to twitch, it’s resting semi-hard on Abby’s ass. We’re frozen, all watching what's happening.
Apparently, the Russian President got put on speakerphone and misinterpreted my telling Abby the things I wanted to do to her as threats of war.
There’s a long silence.
“Daubs Vedanya!” the voice on the other end of the line says and the line clicks as it goes dead.
The President looks to his translator who nods. He sighs visibly and clutches the desk.
My heart rate slows. Fuck, that was close.
I pull away from Abby and start putting on my pants. Abby turns around to look at me. I hastily put on my pants and grab my shirt and shoes, putting them on as I start walking.
I need to put as much distance between me and the Oval as possible.
“If anyone needs me, I’ll be at the Executive Building,” I say, almost out the door.
“Wait just one minute, Lance,” the President says from behind me.
Fuck. I was so close to getting out of this one as well.
I turn around to face the fucking music.
Guess dad won’t approve of me almost starting World War III now to add to the long list of other things, huh?
Oh well, I hear he’s gotten married. No time like the present to go see who he conned into his fake marital alliance.
67
New York Daily Journal
From the Desk of Amanda Adams, the Professional Gossiper of Page Two.
Welcome to Page Two Gossip, here’s what we’re hearing around the halls of power:
Thought you were safe? Had a great day yesterday? Well, how would you like to know that we almost all died? That’s right. I’m hearing that the United States came closer than it has in a long time to a complete and all out war with the Russians. That’s right. Administration officials and the Pentagon are obviously not saying anything confirming something like this, but my spies in the White House tell me that it all started with some nookie.
You read that right, readers. Someone was getting some in the Oval Office, and accidentally pushed the wrong buttons and got on the phone with the Russians. What was said hasn’t been found out yet, but it was aggressive enough to get the Russian president, Dimitry Belevich, to put his finger on his own nuclear triggers.
Yup. We didn’t believe it at first either, but apparently the sex was so rough that the Russian president thought it was a prelude to war when he thought he was being spoken to.
Can’t believe it? Our sources swear up and down that it’s true. What’s more, a few are even telling me who the man with the nuclear libido is, and this you’re not going to believe.
Turns out the man with the explosive sex in his loins is none other than Lance Anders. That’s absolutely right. Lance Anders—the prodigal son of the Mayor, Michael Anders.