Princely Passions

But I'm a guy

and I don't understand what girls are thinking about sometimes.

Because her eyes tear up.

"You've done something, haven't you?" she asks me, her eyes beginning to brim with tears. "You've stacked the deck for me, haven't you?"

"What?" I ask shocked. "Why would I do that?"

"You mean you told them not to select me?" she asks.

I stare at her. Unfortunately I can't say anything more without giving it away. So I remain silent.

"Why can't you just tell me? I don't care what you did, but I'd be more hurt if there was someone more qualified and they never got the chance because of me and you..." Christine begins but I stop her.

"I can't say anything more, Christine," I say to her in a very professional manner. "I hope you understand. It's just my principles I can't compromise."

Christine's eyes go wide and she spends a long moment staring at me. Then, as if she's putting a wall around her heart, she composes herself.

"You have your principles, I get that," she tells me. "I do too."

And with that, she scoots her chair back and gets up. I watch her as she walks away.

I guess the ball is truly in her court now.

Let's see what she does with it.

199

Christine

“Don’t tell me you’re breaking up with Professor Hung?” Kim asks me, placing the straw of her cocktail between her lips and taking a sip. She always has these nicknames for the men we’re dating - and Anders’ happens to varies from Professor Hung to Professor Handsome.

“It’s… complicated,” I tell her, staring down at my own cocktail but not drinking it. I just move the straw around in long, wide circles, thinking back to my fight with Anders. And now that Kim is putting it like that, these two terrible words - break up - feel like a neon sign inside my head.

“Of course it is complicated,” Kim looks me in the eye and places her cocktail down. She’s looking at me in that way of hers, reading me as if she’s a psychic. “You’re torn between the UN Consultancy Program and Professor Handsome,” she tells me patiently. Kim always had a knack for understanding people, and she always gets to the bottom of things without tiptoeing around the truth. That’s why I’m here with her, in one of the booths at Dos Caminos, recounting her what just happened with Anders. The fight, the way I stormed off… I even told her of the amazing sex we had before it.

“Yeah… I guess…” I mutter, still moving the straw around in an endless circle, my heart tightening up inside my chest as I realize that I might have ruined things with both Anders and the Consultancy Program. But I just don’t know what to do! This is a complete mess, and it’s all my fault.

“So, pick one,” she smiles at me, and I can tell that she understands how hard that choice really is. How do you make a choice like this - your ambitions and your whole future, or the man of your dreams? Why can’t I just have both?

“It’s not that simple,” I state the obvious, forcing myself to take a sip out of my cocktail. Maybe if I get a little buzz going on I’ll find the courage to make a decision. Hooray for liquid courage, right?

“Yeah, yeah. It’s complicated,” Kim sighs, taking another sip out of her cocktail, “it’s always complicated with you, girl. But I get it, you’re between a rock and a hard place. But there’s no way around it - you’ll have to decide, Christine.”

“I know, I know… I just… I just don’t know what to do!” I cry out, chomping on my lower lip as the memories of these two past months dance around inside my mind. I had a regular life before Anders, but he turned it all upside down. And, as bad as my situation is right now, I can’t really say that I would have done it any differently.

“Do you love him?” Kim asks, reaching for me and squeezing my hand. I raise my eyes from the glass and return her gaze, her words hanging heavy in the air. She looks at me patiently, waiting for my reply. Do you love him? Well, do I?

I purse my lips and close my eyes just for one second, all these memories flooding me. I think back to the first time our paths really crossed, when he carried me up to the nursery, or when he caught me talking about his huge cock right here in Dos Caminos… I remember the way I felt when I saw his naked body for the first time, and I remember how amazing it felt every single time we fucked and, more than that, every time we made love. Love.

“You love him, Christine,” Kim says, placing both her hands on top of mine. “You don’t even need to say it, I can see it in your face.”

“Yes I love him, okay! That doesn’t change a thing! I can’t keep on doing what I’m doing, living in secret…!” I cry out in protest. The fact that I love him doesn’t make this any easier. In fact, it just makes things a lot more complicated. If he was just a fling I could try to forget him, move on and focus on my studies and career. But I can’t do that when he’s the one I love, when he’s the most special man I have ever met.

“Well, there you have it, Christine,” she smiles, “you’re solving your own riddle.”

“What do you mean?”