“How about what’s going on in your head right now?”
I’m sure she’s just trying to look out for me. She’s become my friend after all this time in the house, and God knows I could use a friend right now with all the craziness.
“Honestly?” I say, lifting a shoulder. “I really like what happened yesterday. It felt good. It felt right. I think I’m most comfortable with Tristan and Madden sharing me. I can’t explain it. It was just perfect. I can’t decide between them, I want them both, so it just makes sense. I really want to choose them both.”
I stop and gauge Maya’s reaction. She just looks at me blankly. Obviously that won’t fly. And the finale is nearly here.
Rolling my shoulders, which are so tense all of a sudden—I try to make her feel better. “Don’t worry. I’m going to go talk to both of them and see where we stand and then I’ll make my decision.”
“Megan, I think you need to follow your heart.”
I nod. Of course. My heart. That crazy thing that’s so conflicted that the mere idea of having to say goodbye to either Tristan or Madden has it squeezing in my chest. What does following my heart even mean? Because right now, all my heart wants is both of them.
“I will.”
“But,” she continues, her voice cryptic, her eyes a mystery, “remember that rules are made to be broken. Maybe it’s time for you to make your own rules.” She gives me a sympathetic smile, then leaves me alone.
What the fuck does that even mean? I have no idea. Rules are made to be broken? Is she talking about the game? Is she talking about the fact that I want two men, when I should just be happy with one?
But I can’t be happy with one. I know that. I care about both of them. That’s the only thing I’m certain of at this point. I can’t imagine giving either of them up. I want to choose both.
Maya didn’t exactly say I couldn’t. But she didn’t say I could, either. I know it’s against the rules. But if she wants me to follow my heart, it’s telling me loud and clear that I’m falling for two men.
I need to do what I told her. I need to go talk to both of them. Figure things out. Get some kind of clarity and see if something stands out to me. If one of them stands out to me as the clear choice.
Even if I don’t want to. Even if the thought of saying goodbye nearly breaks my heart.
The Biggest Licker Season Update
Chase: Hello and welcome to another installment of our analysis of The Biggest Licker – the most popular reality show on TV. I’m your host, Chase Worthington.
Nadia: And I’m your co-host, Nadia Moore. Across the country, America is being gripped by Licker Fever.
Chase: That’s right. It’s all boiling down to the few days left of the season and we couldn’t be more excited and on the edge of our seats as to what is going to happen.
Nadia: Chase, are you telling me that for realsies the producers don’t even know?
Chase: That’s exactly what I’m saying Nadia, the producers have left this one all up to the hands of Megan. She’s calling the shots here and it looks like she’s very conflicted between Madden and Tristan. From everything the cameras are telling us, she’s having some very tough emotional issues in deciding which one to pick as her One True Love and which one to cast aside.
Nadia: That’s so sad. I wish I could give her a hug. What’s the technical term for when shit happens like that on a reality TV show that fucks with the contestant’s minds that they didn’t expect?
Chase: It’s called good TV, actually.
Nadia: I guess so, it just seems kinda…mean, you know?
Chase: Well, wish we could help her, but really our hands are tied.
Nadia: Hmph, that’s a pretty cavalier attitude. You’d be upset if something bad happened to you and no one tried to help you, you know.
Chase: I don’t know that I would, Nadia.
Nadia: Well, maybe you just won’t be getting any of this fine ass tonight, have you thought that?
Chase: That’s actually not fair at all.
Nadia: Wish I could help you babe, but really my hands are tied.
Chase: Sometimes I think maybe it was better when you were a virgin.