“Ashley!” I yell to her, hoping she sees me, and stops. She doesn't. A few passers by stop and look at me as I race past them, but I don’t have any more fucks to give no matter what they do. “Ashley, stop and fucking listen to me.”
“Stay away from me, you fucking asshole!” Ashley shouts and stops walking. But instead of turning toward me, I see her pause and take off her heels. She’s going to want to walk fast and she’s getting ready.
But by then I’ve caught up to her.
Hey, give me some credit here, okay? I may drink and fuck all night long, but I have a body made of steel. Genes that are fucking blessed. I used to play football in high school and college and I still got the moves. Of course I could keep up with Ashley. But there’s a fine fucking line between having her say no and it being cute and then forcing my presence on her. And I never, ever, ever, fucking do that.
“Just let me explain,” I say to her, trying to buy some time.
“There’s nothing to explain, Arsen,” she says, still not looking back at me. “This whole thing was a big fucking joke to you. You’re a sick, perverted creep.”
“No I’m not, Ashley,” I reply as I match her stride. She’s walking toward the gates to the park on 72nd and 5th. Fuck, she’s going to hop into a cab or a bus from there and I won't be able to do a goddamn thing about it. I can’t force her to stay. “Just let me explain. I love you.”
Well that fucking gets her to stop all right.
And why wouldn't it? I’ve never, ever, said it to another girl before. I’ve never felt it for another girl. I’ve never even contemplated anything remotely close to it with another woman. The very thought of falling in love with someone three months ago would have me getting on a fucking plane and getting as far away from her as possible.
But now? Now, I’m standing there like a fucking kid, watching Ashley turn around and stare at me.
“I love you, Ashley Lane,” I tell her, not sure why I’m so fucking nervous all of a sudden.
Ashley smiles for a moment, and that’s when I know I’m fucked.
“You love me?” she asks and takes a step forward on the balls of her feet. “That’s why for basically the entire time you knew me, you pretended to be someone else?”
“I didn’t pretend to be someone else!” I yell, but she answers right back and I can see the fire in her eyes.
“You pretended to be someone on the phone that wasn't the same you in real life, Arsen!” Ashley yells. “Sure when you were with me you were Arsen Hawke. But then how many times did I hurry out of your apartment to go to work? How many times did you ask me what I did when you knew the answer?”
“I never lied to you about anything…” I begin but she cuts me off and for a moment I think she’s going to slap me again.
“You didn’t li
e to me?” Ashley asks with a note of incredulity in her voice. “Arsen I fell in love with you on the phone and you know how much it was tearing me up every time you and I were together to think how I could be falling in love with you at the same fucking time?”
For once, I’m silent. Her fucking words have silenced me.
“You want to know what it’s like to go through what I did for the last month?” she asks me. “You want to know what I feel like standing here in front of you after the things you had me do on the phone?”
Fuck. In all of this, I forgot how crazy we had gotten.
“You had me call you King! You told me not to…touch myself on the phone. You did things with me that were private and so intimate for me and it was a big fucking joke for you!” Ashley yells as her face turns red. “You must have gotten quite a laugh, huh?”
“I never thought about it as a joke,” I say slowly and she looks at me. “I only called your line because you wouldn't see me. Because you wanted to stay away after our first night.”
“You know what?” Ashley asks me, but I can tell it's fucking rhetorical. “I should have listened to myself that day. I shouldn’t have texted you back. I should have just gotten myself off and not thought of you at all. I wouldn’t feel so deceived and humiliated right now.”
I take a step close to her. “Don’t feel humiliated, babe…” I begin but she looks at me and I see her face contort.
“Stay the fuck away from me, you fucking creep!” she yells. “You lied to me! You had a million chances to tell me. You had to wait until I told you I loved you to spit it back at me. To laugh in my face. Well, Arsen Hawke, or King Henry, from now on, you’re just Client 5 to me, okay. Some fucking loser who has to pay per the minute to get off.”
She turns away and walks toward 5th Avenue. The sun’s going down and it’s reflecting off the condos and co-ops lining the street across the Park.
“Ashley…” I call out, wondering if I should keep going after her. But she answers the question for me.
“Stay the fuck away, Arsen, or I’m screaming rape,” she says. She pauses for a minute and I think she’s going to turn around. As long as I can keep her talking.
“By the way, just in case you were wondering,” she says, still with her back turned to me. “I quit. I’d rather starve than work for you one more day.”