But my cock? About to be buried in heaven while I drag dear Lucy right down to hell.
Goodness of my heart. Is that some kind of joke that my brain even considers that? I never do anything without getting something in return. Several somethings. I manipulate and deal my way into everything I want.
Gian
I'm at the door and I step in, taking care not to bust in and scare her half to death, but I wouldn't exactly knock on my own door, would I?
"Mr. Sandoval," Lucy says, hastily wiping her eyes on the back of her hands and then pulling the sheets up over her body.
"Giancarlo," I tell her. She doesn't need to call me Mister. Though it does sound fucking sexy rolling off her cherry lips. But what wouldn't? "Come over here and let me see that gorgeous body," I say, licking my lower lip as she steps up.
Her hands are shaky and she wants to cover herself.
I capture her wrists. I’m not going to just take her. I’ll make her want me. It won’t be hard, because she’s afraid about what’s to come, but I also arouse her. I saw that behind the hate in her eyes before, and I can see it in the fear in her eyes now.
"You're not gonna cover yourself in front of me, ever, Lucy," I say. That’s just the way it's going to have to be. I can’t have her hiding herself from me. I have to have her beautiful body open for me. I want her to want it to be open for me.
She shivers when I say her name, so slightly, and then looks down at her own body. "I ... I just don't feel comfortable in this." I listen to her tentative words. I want her to talk instead of being frozen in fear. It doesn’t matter what she talks about as long as she speaks instead of shivers. Anything is better than seeing her fall apart like she was, crying in my bed earlier.
I suck in a breath. But this is what I chose to talk to her about and I can’t avoid this. I don’t want to. I need to see the fragile parts of her. Lucy doesn’t know that wanting her makes me vulnerable in a way that I never am. "How do you feel?" I know that I should be getting to the part where I fuck her, because I'm going to fuck her. Despite myself, though, I want her to talk. I want to know what she's thinking. I can't have her sad like she was earlier. I don’t want to fuck a sad Lucy; I want to bury myself inside a woman who's beautifully bare before me and knows that she wants me in her body.
Lucy licks her lips and parts them slowly before she finally answers. ”Stupid." She admits the truth about how she feels.
I can tell by the way she tears the word from her lips that she's telling the truth, which I can appreciate. But Lucy’s dead wrong. "What you did for your brother is brave," I say, wanting her to know the truth. I don’t want her to be frightened, but I'm practically growling with the raw power building inside me at the need to let her know that she’s not some stupid girl. I want to defend her, from herself it seems. I don't know why I react so strongly to Lucy. But I can't let her think this. "Not stupid."
Lucy leans closer to me, still in my hold, but her eyes are cast downward. Her body wants to be closer to me, but her mind is still so fragile. Still, she’s not closing up and she’s talking to me. “No." Lucy shakes her head. "I feel stupid because I look ridiculous. I tried to pick something sexy but --"
I can't let her finish that sentence; I'm so shocked by it. "You don't look stupid." I force myself to stay still. I want her to hear my words and know that I mean them. Not touching her more, but keeping my hands over her has its own kind of power, and that’s the kind of power I need for my words to hit home for her. "You're so damn sexy and you don't even know it. You figure I fuck all sorts of skanks who throw themselves at me all the time?" I run my thumbs over the soft skin of the underside of her wrists.
I see her breath catch in her throat. Lucy is afraid of me, afraid of what's happening, what's going to happen. But she can feel the bolts of electricity connecting us now. Her body responds to mine the way mine does to hers.
"Well ... yeah ..." she runs her teeth over her lower lip, "but I don't know how to be that."
"Skanky?" I laugh. "Yeah, that's clear."
"I know..." she says, looking down, her cheeks heating with embarrassment.
"I didn't mean that as an insult. Quite the opposite." I press my forehead against hers, and then lean back to kiss it. "Because you look goddamn beautiful. You're the most sensual woman I've ever seen. You have no idea how beautiful you are. Never feel any less than that. And for the love of all that is good in this world, don't wish to be a skank. You're more than that, Lucy. There's no one like you."
Something passes between us. She lets herself lean a little closer to me now and lets her eyes follow. Even as little as it is, she's closing some of the space between us. Lucy feels whatever this is happening now, and she’s letting herself feel it now. That’s the drop of desire that turns the entire tide of the ocean between us.
The shift between us drives me to release her wrists. I run my fingers up her arms, watching her skin react to me.
She's swallowing. Her eyes are widening.
"I want to kiss you, Lucy," I tell her and crook a finger under her chin. I tilt her face to look at mine. Those wide hazel eyes look up at me, and I don't see her fear. I see that beautiful hope lighting up her wide eyes. It fucking destroys me. I know I'm no good for her. I'm the end of all things good in her life, in her. But I can't resist. I need her.
"I..." Lucy's voice trails off. "I thought you'd just..."
"Rape you?" I say, my voice dripping with anger despite my attempts to keep it at bay. Lucy has every reason to think that. She doesn't know me. "I don't want to take what you're offering, I want you to give it to me." It's a lie on my part. I do want to take it. But not the way she's thinking. I want to drown in Lucy, pelt myself to death with her pleasure and make her collapse in ecstasy. I want her to be spent and exhausted when we're done. I want to wrap her in my arms tonight and forget about everything I have to deal with tomorrow. That's the truth. I can't tell her that I'm so goddamn pathetic.
"I didn't think it was going to be about me at all," she says and sucks in her lips. "I didn't know you'd want to kiss me," Lucy says and looks back up into my eyes. "I want to kiss you, too, Gian," she says, and presses her face closer to mine, closing her eyes and parting her lips. The 'zhuh' in how she shortens my name. The way those wet cherry lips look parting for me.
I can't keep the animal within me at bay. I'm not gentle. I kiss her, holding her face to mine, and my tongue has her, has her mouth. I'm claiming her, taking her; I'm taking everything. The passion between us makes my cock jab into her stomach with need. I'm practically trembling with how much I need her. I'm aching for her. The current between us is a live wire. Her mouth tastes like vanilla heat, the warmth of summer, and the soul of something eternally good. I don't release her, I breathe through her. I breathe her in. I need her. I'm kissing her deep and tasting everything good in her soul. Everything wicked in mine is teasing her, touching her, claiming her. I'm covering her in my wickedness.
Lucy moans into my mouth and I can't take it anymore.
I wrap my arms around her body and hold her close to me. I run a hand to the small of her back and feel her soft skin. She's untouched, so innocent, and I have her all to myself. That moan fucking destroys me.