But there’s something about the power in this room now. The power in how Gian has me. I need his permission. It sounds silly. I could just have an orgasm right now if I push, breathe, focus, and let the way he’s fucking me take over. But that’s not what I want to do. I want to cum because Gian says I can. I want to ask him. I don’t think he’ll think this is strange. I work up the energy to be able to even form words, because I want to know.
"Gian, please," I groan, finally. My face heats and I’m terrified he’ll think I’m being strange. I can’t explain exactly why I said this.
"Please, what, Lucy?" Gian says, and when he says my name it sounds more like an incantation. He's cast a spell over my body. I know now that he understands on some level exactly what I was saying. Somehow, that changes everything. It deepens the lust that I already have, and makes me want something more.
"Please torture me like this forever," I tell him. I'm shocked by my own words. I want to beg him to let me orgasm, but I don't want this to be over. I want him to keep me on the edge forever. I don't want to go past this. I'm on the edge of something incredible, and I'm safe here when I'm not in control. When I can belong to the abandon of nothing but his cock slamming so hard into me. "Don't stop touching me, Gian, please," I whimper because I want the feel of his body taking over mine to last forever.
I look in his eyes, and I see the surprise on his face. I don't suppose much manages to shock him, and I feel flattered to have been able to do so. I can’t help it; I feel myself beaming with pride. I want to shock him, thrill him, give him even a fraction of the incredible feelings he’s created in me. “You feel so good inside me. I'm glad I'll never fuck anyone else," I say. I'm telling the truth and I can't believe I'm saying these kinds of words. I can’t believe I’m feeling them. And because I do feel them, and feel that I can say them to Gian, I feel so safe and content. The satisfaction is like nothing I’ve ever known. I’ve never felt like more of a woman than I do right now.
"That's right," Gian says, a small smile playing over the edge of one corner of his sensual mouth. "Give me everything, Lucy. You're mine," Gian says, and he brings one hand to close over my throat. His intrusion to my breathing is rough, but not so much that I'm in pain. I keep my eyes staring into his, and he keeps sliding his cock deep inside me, and then completely exiting me. Every time he slides back in, my inner walls cling to him. Beg him to stay. He leaves, but he always returns. The pleasure mounting within me stays incredibly intense. Pressure builds inside my stomach. My clit flutters with need. My nipples ache. I'm dizzy.
But I don't come.
Orgasm is just out of reach.
I tremble. My legs start to quake. But I'm not there. It won't happen. Not like this. And I love it. "Gian," I moan, for no reason other than to pull me into reality and to see how he looks at me when I say his name. This is not the man anyone else sees. I know this.
And I like being his.
“Cum for me, and only me, Lucy,” Gian says finally. His voice is thick, caught low in his throat. I love being able to have this effect on him. It truly does something to me.
“Yes!” I shout out. I don’t mean to, but the instant that he gives me permission, I’m not holding back any floodgates now. The pressure inside of me erupts violently, and I’m shaking like I’m having a seizure. My eyes roll back in their orbits and I see nothing but blackness. I reach out for anything to grab onto, grasping sheets and squeezing them hard, but there’s no purchase to be had. My ankles painfully cling to Gian’s back. My own back arches. Gian’s cock fills me up to the hilt and I feel his cock spurt his own hot cum inside of me. He pumps what feels like a gallon of cum into me while I shake hard at the sensations tearing through my body. When I finally open my eyes I see that we’re both covered in sweat. He collapses on top of me, but doesn’t let his full weight cover me.
Gian pulls me into his arms and I curl my head into the crook of his arm. I breathe him in. I cannot believe everything that happened.
And as soon as I can breathe again, I want to try it all over again.
I’m glad that I’ve never had sex before tonight. It can’t always be like this.
Lucy
If I'm going to belong to Gian, I really think I need to start looking like it. My attempts at clothing, and makeup, and hair to catch him were one thing … but I feel so horribly out of place.
So when Gian tells me that I have full run of the property, I want to hit the spa the instant he is off for work. “I guess I should get dolled up,” I say and I have to force myself to maintain eye contact. What I want to do is look away.
Gian makes a face, one I can't quite understand. His eyebrows knit together, then raise, and he looks at me while cocking his head to the side and I think maybe as much as I’m trying to figure out what his face means, he’s trying to figure out what my words mean. Finally, he replies. “If you like. You can have anything you like, and of course at no cost,” Gian says.
I watch his lips move, unable to tear my eyes away from the sight of him. His sensual lips are almost enough to make me forget his words, but in a second, they click.
I open my mouth to protest that I don’t want any freebies. Something unsettling occurs to me. Much more unsettling than the fact that I really can’t afford to pay my own way at an upscale casino and hotel’s spa. I’m already paying for whatever I want to get done. I’m paying with my body. And before, yes, I felt comfortably horrified by this truth. But now? Now the idea reviles me like it taints the fact that I enjoy being with Gian now. That I’m not really afraid of him, or disgusted by him. So why should it bother me?
I mean I know that what our little arrangement is like is different from a normal relationship. I’ve never been in a relationship, but even I know enough to know that this is just strange. Nothing about how we met, or how we’ll come to bed together tonight seems normal. And I’m pretty sure that based on how long our so-called ‘relationship’ has been in existence, it's a strange time for him to shower me with gifts or anything.
But that’s not what me going to the spa is. I still feel so inadequate next to Gian. He’s the most attractive man I’ve ever seen, and I want to be able to look like I actually belong on his arm.
I gulp, smiling at him as he leaves. Gian kisses my cheek — something so normal in the midst of all of our strangeness. The thought that makes me gulp? Even though Gian isn’t telling me to hide away in this room, I don’t actually know that he’ll have me on his arm. No, allowing me to go to the spa is not the same as being on his arm.
When I thought that Gian was some disgu
sting pervert and I was reviled by the idea of him touching me, it didn’t matter if he hid me away or had me on his arm.
Of course, I didn’t think he was going to keep me … but I also didn’t think that he was going to decide to keep me more permanently.
But now that I do like Gian, now that I do want his hands all over me, and let’s be real, now that I know I want him inside my body, it upsets me to think that I might be sequestered away. That I’m not good enough to show off.
Besides, I could be wrong about Gian. He could be frightening and only seem kind. If that’s the case, I definitely want to look like I’m anything but expendable. I need him to want me, because if he wants to discard me, then my brother might not get the help that he needs.
This morning, Gian told me that he’d bring me an update about the facilities that he sent my brother to, and I should expect it to take almost a week before they’d allow me to visit, and that even then, detox could be incredibly unpleasant. Of course I still want to see Tommy, because I need him to know how much I care about him and want him to have help.