Falling for My Dirty Uncle

He has his shady board of directors. He has his fancy Hamptons estate. He has my own mother wrapped around his greasy fingers.

And now, he thinks he has me.

“Well, well, well,” Carl sneers as he walks in, reeking of cologne and overpriced brandy. “Looks like the little slut finally realized what was good for her, hmm?”

Yeah. He actually talks like that. I’m seriously waiting for the super villain monologue to begin any fucking minute now.

“You’re right, Carl,” I coo in my sweetest, most innocent little voice. “I owe you so much for what you did for me…you have no idea how grateful I am.”

His grin widens. “Grateful, huh? Frankly, Mira, I underestimated you. Grateful…you’re smarter than you look, aren’t you, sweetheart?”

“Infinitely,” I agree. “And I’m even wiser now…all thanks to you, Carl. I can’t believe how, in just a few days, you’ve managed to teach me so much.”

“Mm. You’ve been a naughty girl lately, Mira. Have you learned your lesson now?” Carl loosens his tie and licks his lips as he approaches me. “Or does your new Daddy need to teach you a few more lessons?”

I let him get close to me. Real close. Too close for comfort.

On one hand, it means that I have to try pretty hard not to totally throw up in my mouth.

On the other hand, now as he lowers his lips to mine, I have the perfect angle to knee him in the balls so hard that I can feel the air leaving his lungs in place of a kiss.

“I think I’ve learned enough lessons for one day, actually,” I whisper in his ear while he doubles over, making strangled wheezing noises. “But I’m sure my lawyers would be interested in what Daddy has to say.”

“I don’t think you’ll be calling him Daddy for much longer.” Owen strides into the office from a side room with his arm wrapped protectively around my mother’s shoulders.

My mother is staring Carl down with a rage that I’ve only seen her direct toward late housekeepers and chubby pool boys.

“Worst thing about cheap office buildings, Carl—thin walls make for few secrets.”

“Fire hazards, too,” Owen’s lawyer adds. “And god forbid this place goes up in smoke—you’re growing enough illegal marijuana on the roof of this place to get the entire city stoned.”

“Assuming that the meth lab in the basement doesn’t blow everything up first,” I add. “The DEA is totally fascinated by the little side operation you were running here, Carl. I’m sure they’ll be in touch soon.”

“I bet the FCC will get to him first,” Owen counters. “Insider trading, illicit business contracts…is there any slice of the criminal pie that you haven’t slipped your slimy little fingers into, brother?”

“That reminds me,” I add. “Our lawyer had a look over the contracts you had me sign, and he’s very convinced that they wouldn’t hold up in court. Which means that moving all of Wilder Lingerie’s production outlets to sweatshops overseas won’t be happening anymore, either.”

“You…you little fucking bitch,” Carl grunts.

“You’re exactly right, Carl. Me.” I smile down at him just as smugly as he was grinning at me when he walked in. “You thought that I was a stupid little girl you could take advantage of because I didn’t know any better—and maybe you were right. But not anymore.”

Owen releases the hounds—or, at least, he lets my mother start getting her own personal digs in on Carl—and moves to me, taking my hand in his.

There’s something small and hard with sharp edges between his palm and mine. When I turn his hand over to see what he’s handing me, my heart skips a beat.

“It’s not a diamond,” Owen admits. “But you didn’t seem like that kind of girl anyway.”

I blink several times as I stare down at the princess cut sapphire engagement ring resting in the center of Owen’s big, broad palm.

“You weren’t kidding,” I say in disbelief. “You…you really meant it.”

“Why the fuck would I joke about that?” Owen raises a dark eyebrow. “I’m not a sadist, babydoll. Well, not really—it runs a lot stronger in Carl’s side of the family.”

“So, let me get this straight,” I say, picking the ring up gingerly. “Your big proposal moment involves me fake-seducing your half-brother—my own step-father—”

“Soon to be ex-step-father, from the sound of things,” Owen interjects, nodding to the distant sound of my mother screaming obscenities at Carl, and the DEA agents breaking into the building’s basement.

“Watching me knee a man in the balls—”