Falling for My Dirty Uncle

How is this not affecting people? How is Senator Bob Walker still out there dismissing this President as all talk when he says he’s going to clear the cave? The President can clear my cave, that’s for damn sure. And then he can park his Python in there anytime he wants, I’ll tell you what.

If you’re rolling your eyes, allow me to explain my rather unorthodox style of commentary on this one.

I’ve seen a lot of Presidents come and go. I’ve seen them come in, do their thing, pass their laws, spin the media, play up to their bases, and then leave town. Sometimes they get along well with Congress, and sometimes Congress ends up investigating them. But never in all my days have I seen a President who comes to Washington and then does everything that he said he was going to do. And enjoys himself as he does so. Let’s not kid ourselves here, folks. President Austin Bain is having the time of his life. And now that he’s engaged, it’s clear he’s having a blast. How many other Presidents actually enjoyed the job?

Contrast this to Senator Bob Walker. I have spies in his office and you know what they told me the other day? The latest rumor going around Washington is that Ashley Draper is a virgin. As in has never had sex with any man before. But they’re covering it up and not making a big deal of it. Why?

Because if the public found out, they might be more inclined to support President Bain than they are now. And polls show that the public loves Ashley Draper and Austin Bain.

See the kind of jadedness that makes people vote for those who say this city is broken?

But look how much of a non-issue the President has made it.

And that’s important, because while we might call him President Player and what not, we’re seeing the man for the first time in the company of a woman he truly loves. And it’s telling what we see. We see a good, kind, chivalrous man. And no matter the political party, you take a strong man who has all these qualities and you make him the leader of a nation, the country can’t help but to prosper.

There is hope for us yet.

Austin

I'm sitting behind my desk in the oval office with my fingers laced behind my head, but I might as well still be sitting in the cool leather seat of my limo with Ashley nuzzled by my side.

It's like a scene playing on a continual loop in my mind. A scene I can't pause or shut off.

Her words, her smell, and her gestures—everything—it all haunts me.

If I'm being honest, the fact that Ashley's still a virgin excites me, like uncharted territory just begging to be conquered. I'm a competitive person, and now I'm determined to be her first.

It's amazing, given her line of work—the amount of men she comes in contact with. Don't you think?

She's smoking hot, head to toe. Her tits are some of the most perfect pair of breasts I've ever seen … and I've seen, held, licked, and sucked on a lot of tits.

How she's managed to stay a virgin is beyond all comprehension. I can't even wrap my head around it, as hard as I try to.

Now I'm trying to focus on today's meeting, but that's proving difficult.

"Do you want the good news first, or the bad news?" Tracy asks me, and I snap back to reality.

"Good, I guess," I say, although I'm not really sure that it matters at the end of the day.

"The good news is that the press has dropped the 'President Player' angle," she replies. "They love Ashley. That's definitely a good thing."

I sigh and think to myself, of course they do. What's not to love?

"But that's the only good news I'm afraid," Tracy says, looking at me with a serious gaze. When I see that gaze, I know she means business.

"And the bad news?" I ask, bracing myself for whatever Tracy is going to throw my way. At this point, I figure it must be pretty bad.

"The bad news is Bob Walker, as usual," she says, "he's trying to block you at every turn."

"No surprise," I reply, shaking my head. If that's the worst thing she tells me today, I can live with that. That guy has always been a bastard, and a thorn in my side. "What's he doing now?" I ask, although I hardly care.

"He's trying to lobby the opposition to your new jobs bill," she says.

I scoff at her comment. "Walker doesn't have the numbers. He's just blowing a bunch of hot air, and I'm not buying it."

I pause for a second. “Besides, what kind of politician doesn’t like jobs? Give me a fucking break.”

Tracy shrugs and gives me a look.