“I told you I wouldn’t let you down.”
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SportsNation
SportsNation Highlights
Hello, and welcome to SportsNation. I’m your host for the evening, Pamela Cruchelow. My guest tonight is former Quarterback for the Miami MILF’s, Anderson Crocker.
We begin today’s highlight roundup with shocking new breaking news. That’s right. You hear it first here at SportsNation and we have incontrovertible video footage showing star defensive end Ethan Blake engaged in - are you ready for this - sexual relations with the team owner, Julianna Heaton.
Cut to grainy and shaky camera shot of Julianna and Ethan having sex on her bed. Julianna is bending forward on her hands and knees doggiestyle and Ethan is entering her from behind. The tips of Julianna’s breasts are blurred out and a large blur obscures Ethan’s cock.
Video footage from The News of the Times confirms that that is, in fact, Ethan Blake and Julianna Heaton. In a separate press conference following the revelation of the sex tape, the newspaper confirmed that they had placed spies outside on the ground floor of Julianna’s building and upon seeing Ethan Blake go upstairs, a drone was sent from the newspaper’s building in Midtown Manhattan towards the Ms. Heaton’s Columbus Circle.
The revelation of a sexual relationship adds another twist in what is becoming the NFL’s most media-scrutinized team. Julianna, as we all know, is the youngest NFL team owner in League history. She’s also the first woman. And as everyone who’s ever dealt with her can attest, she doesn't take any crap from anyone.
Pamela (turning to Anderson): Anderson, this is bad news for the Nailers, right?
Anderson: That’s right. As the son of the former head coach, Julianna has made waves in the short time she’s owned the NFL team, not afraid to speak up for herself or exercise her power when she felt she needed to. This is something that could bring the wrath of the Commissioner down on the head of either Ethan or Julianna
. Remember what he said after the fight on your show. That man is tired of having the League embarrassed by its players. This would be the first time that the offender is an owner though.
Pamela: Anderson, I think if anyone could give Colt and Ethan a run for their money though, it would be Julianna, don’t you? I mean, she defines the term “sexy” and “bad girl” all in one package. She’s unafraid, unapologetic, and sometimes even intimidating.
Anderson: I think she’s very intimidating. As a former NFL player, let me tell you she’s got more balls than so many other head coaches or team owners in the League that I’ve ever experienced. She’s a force of nature and she knows it.
Pamela: What would be your advice to the two of them at this point then, Anderson?
Anderson (with a deep sigh): My advice right now would be to take a deep breath. This is just sex between consenting adults, but still, at the end of the day, it’s a player and an owner. At a time when the Nailers are trying to determine whether to keep Ethan or Colt due to their salary cap restrictions, it’s not a good time to be distracted. And when you have the Commissioner of the league threatening to punish embarrassing behavior, you better hope there aren’t any more of these videos surfacing. It could snowball into something really big. So it’s a bit of a grey area right now but treading carefully is definitely the way to go.
Pamela: Thank you, Anderson.
Up next, we’ll analyze the new passing game of the Denver Donkeys and determine what they’re going to bring to the field as they take on the New York Nailers this Sunday.
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Colt
“And we’re getting details that an ex-boyfriend of beleaguered NFL team owner, Julianna Heaton will be on CNN tomorrow, discussing his relationship with her and what he thinks she must be going through right now in light of the recent sex tape of her and Ethan Blake…”
I fucking curse to myself hearing this shit. Having to hear that motherfucker’s name over and over again on the television as having bagged Julianna is seriously driving me fucking insane.
I’m in the locker room getting geared up for war. We’re taking on the Denver Donkey’s tonight and it’s probably going to be the highest ratings the NFL has ever had. Why? Because of this non-stop media coverage of Ethan fucking Julianna.
It might be good for the fucking ratings, but it’s driving me up the fucking wall. Every single mention, every single video teaser is another fucking testament to how Ethan once again stole something that’s fucking mine.
Like he’s done his whole fucking life, that fucker couldn't let well enough alone. He got jealous of my success. He let that fucking jealousy turn him into something hateful and he took what should have rightfully been mine.
“Check out her fucking tits, man,” DeShawn, the tight end is showing one of the Wide Receivers. Yep. That’s Julianna on his phone. In all her fucking glory. The team’s been trading comments and jerking off to her video since it came out, most likely.
And why wouldn't they? She’s a fucking hot as shit woman. Fantastic fucking ass. Amazing tits. The most fucking sinful face - made even more sinful because it looks so sweet and innocent. Granted, the video itself is only about 45 seconds of usable footage, but those 45 seconds have probably unleashed twenty gallons of fucking cum from this team alone. Never mind America.
But I’m not supposed to be sitting here jerking off to her. I was supposed to be there fucking her, not Ethan.
I finish suiting up and look at myself in my locker mirror.
And that’s when I see him.