He couldn’t count the number of times over the past year that he’d been thankful pregnancy hadn’t happened. That he hadn’t let down his child as well as his wife. That a child hadn’t been fathered by a man who knew that the concept of love was a huge fallacy.
Kids needed the fantasy. The security of belief allowed by the emotion called love.
His mind processed. He stared, needing the silence.
For whatever reason, Emily allowed the quiet. Maybe because she was waiting for him to figure out that they had one hell of a dilemma in front of them.
“Does he know about me? That I’m alive?”
She frowned. “Who?”
“The...father.” The man who’d slept with Emily after him. Just as he’d slept with Afsoon. So maybe, when he had time to adjust to the change, he’d see that all was good. Emily was a lot closer to reaching the truth than he’d thought judging by her actions the day before.
Her hand on his should have been a warning, but he was a bit stupefied. It was early. He’d only had a couple of sips of coffee. And she’d dropped one hell of a bombshell on him.
“You’re the father, Winston. I thought you’d understand that. You’re the only man I’ve ever even wanted to be with.”
“You thought I was dead.” Did she think he blamed her for taking a lover? He’d meant no accusation at all in his words. Simple facts were all he was looking for. To fit into the plan.
His brain replayed her words a second time, with a bit more focus. Enough to get the gist.
Emily was losing it on him.
She thought she was pregnant. And thought he was the father?
“I can’t be the father, Em. I wasn’t even in California two weeks ago.”
So maybe she wasn’t pregnant after all. Maybe she was just falling apart. He couldn’t blame her...but he should probably make a phone call. Get them some help.
“I used your sperm...you know, that we had stored at the lab? I’ve been paying to keep it there and when I heard that you were dead... I had myself inseminated. I...” She shook her head. “I thought... It’s a miracle, Winston.” She took his hand, laced her fingers through his. “I was honoring you, and us, by bringing a piece of you to life, continuing your legacy. And now, with you here, it’s what we always wanted. The plan is finally coming to be...”
The plan? It took him a second to realize that she was referring to the cockamamy dream they’d had to get married, have four children and grow old together in Marie Cove.
Except that they hadn’t been able to conceive. And they’d just started delving into fertility treatment options when he’d shipped out and never returned.
Oh God. He could feel himself pale.
She was pregnant? With his child?
She couldn’t be! He hadn’t realized he’d spoken aloud, with all of his horror evident in his voice, until she whitened, too. Dropping his hand, she stood.
“I have to get ready for work,” she said, and headed back to the shower.
He watched her go. Knew he shouldn’t follow her.
And didn’t try to stop her, or even speak, when, half an hour later, she passed him on her way to the garage door, bag and keys in hand.
“I’ll see you tonight,” she said at the door. “I love you, Winston. Be safe.”
And she was gone.
Chapter Nine
She didn’t go to work. Not right away. How could she?
No one in town or at work knew that Winston was back. Or that she was pregnant. They’d figure out both soon enough. Winston sooner than the baby. He’d be seen in town. In the neighborhood.
She planned to tell her boss, Steve Adeleigh, about Winston that morning, of course, and some of the people she worked with, but she had to get in a better frame of mind first. She’d already decided to keep news of the baby to herself until she passed the first trimester. Just hadn’t wanted the questions. Now, with Winston’s return, people could just assume she’d conceived naturally.