Having The Soldier's Baby (Parent Portal 1)

Who did he know in Wisconsin? Why would he want her to go? Especially with them divorcing. Unless it had to do with the divorce? Did he know an attorney in Wisconsin? Someone he met when he was away from her? Would a Wisconsin attorney be certified in California? Possible if the guy had been military and stationed in San Diego for a time...

Winston wanted her to go on a trip with him?

“When?”

“At your convenience.”

She stared at him. Her answer se

emed to matter to him. Or going did. Or both.

“What’s going on?”

He glanced toward the backyard, not that much was visible in the darkness, and then back at her. “It’s been brought to my attention that it’s possible I used Danny, changed identities with him, because it allowed me to do what had to be done.”

It wasn’t about the divorce.

As she gazed into those troubled eyes, she felt his struggle. Knew a sense of fullness, a depth of completion she hadn’t known she’d been missing. She was feeling him again. Not just knowing him, but actually feeling. Her heart became his, or felt his so completely it seemed like they’d become joined. She got up from the table so abruptly she hit her knee. Ignored the searing pain as she carried trash, leftovers and dishes to the sink. She just needed a minute. Time to get out of fantasy and into reality.

It had happened so fast, falling back into the fairy tale. No warning. She’d had no idea it could even happen, now that she knew it wasn’t real.

Reality.

Winston carried in the glasses. Was right behind her. Turning, she looked up at him, in blue jeans and a striped button-up shirt, the cuffs rolled a couple of times.

Taking his hand, she led them to the living room. To the couch. Sat down—no longer touching at all.

“Tell me,” she said, hoping she had herself firmly in check again.

“He was single. Not even a serious girlfriend. He’d made no promises to anyone other than the United States government when he was sworn in as a soldier.”

He meant that Danny could give up his life and be the hero without being unfaithful to his personal self. It was as though the words were in Winston’s brain and wirelessly streamed to hers.

“By becoming him, it was almost as though Winston Hannigan died that day in the desert, with a change of clothes,” she said aloud, staring at him.

He shrugged, as though not quite going that far with it.

“I need to go see his parents,” Winston said, while she was busy grappling with the emotions barreling through her. From hope to despair and everything in between.

“I need to tell them that their son died a hero, that I was with him in the end. I have to apologize to them for giving up their son’s body. For robbing them of the chance to bury him.”

The trip to Wisconsin. She didn’t even question the fact that he wanted her to go. She and Winston always stood by each other through the difficult times in life. Their grandparents’ funerals. Her father’s funeral. Even before they were lovers, they’d stood side by side, taking on the tough stuff. It’s what best friends did.

“I’d like you to be there, Em. I want them to see why I did what I did. Not because I deserve their forgiveness, but because I hope it will help ease their pain. To know that I needed their son to get the job done.”

“Of course I’m going with you,” she said, sitting there with him as platonic as they’d ever been. “And not just for them, Winston,” she added, then got up and went in to finish cleaning away dinner.

She couldn’t keep sitting there looking at him. It confused her. He confused her.

Her feelings confused her.

She was a thirty-three-year-old fully-grown woman who couldn’t decipher between real emotion and make-believe.

Or maybe it was just the pregnancy hormones.

Chapter Twenty-One

She sat by the window. He took the middle seat. It was a routine they’d established many years before, during innumerable vacations they’d taken together. It used to be that she’d offer to take the middle, her being the smaller of the two of them, but each time he’d insisted on his place. Flying was a no-brainer for him. Didn’t faze him. Emily got a little claustrophobic now and then. Didn’t like not being in control. Focusing out the window made her feel not so closed in.