Her Motherhood Wish (Parent Portal 3)

Wood had climbed in beside her. Was starting the truck. Feeling closer to him, she chatted about the beautiful blue sky, the balmy warmth and a possible walk on the beach that afternoon as he pulled from her driveway.

And then she drew a blank. All of the things she’d been telling herself all morning, the easy conversational tidbits she had to offer, just flew out of her mind. By the time she saw her house again, or had a chance to walk on the beach, she’d know if her baby had a chance at a life. Or not much of one.

Collect. She just had to collect for now.

The wealth of love she felt for the little one she hadn’t even yet felt move was unfathomable. It was seemingly impossible, except that she was feeling it—the love, and the fear attached to that. She’d never known such a debilitating, freeze-your-brain panic.

Everything might be fine. She was not going to borrow trouble. She was only going to get information that she wanted to have.

“Do you remember the episode of Friends when Danny DeVito showed up as the stripper at Phoebe’s wedding shower?” She heard Wood speak. Turned and looked at him. Had to concentrate on a replay of his words to know what he was talking about. A television show they’d spoken about.

For a moment she couldn’t remember who Danny DeVito was. And then had a flash of him on another old sitcom. Something about New York taxicabs. He’d been a mean boss. A really short and somewhat plump little man. And then, “Yeah, I kind of do,” she said.

“If the character Danny DeVito played had ever asked anyone if he’d make it as a stripper, he’d most likely have been told no,” he said.

Well, duh... He’d been cast in that role on that show because of the ridiculousness of the fit.

“But the character got to do it,” Wood continued. “And he was pretty good at the dancing part of it.

“And what about the fact that Ross’s wife left him? He thought his life was over,” Wood added. “But if she hadn’t, then he wouldn’t have been free to get together with the love of his life. And after ten excruciating years, they finally end up together.”

Wood had just pulled in to the doctor’s office. And she was still breathing calmly. She glanced at him, a thank-you on the tip of her tongue, and he said, “You never know.”

“You never know what?”

“You just never know. Things can look like one thing today, but they could be entirely different down the road.”

And the waves...they brought in some bad stuff, but they brought good, too.

“Nothing is an absolute certainty,” Wood said, glancing over at her.

And she knew what he was telling her. Even if the news was bad, she had to believe that good could come of it. She had to have hope.

The man was right.

And good for her.

Which made it so hard to remember that he was there because he was her sperm donor. Not her partner.

* * *

Rather than an examining room, Cassie was shown into a doctor’s office. She’d opted to go with an obstetrician from the Parent Portal, but that morning’s appointment was at the doctor’s private office by the hospital. The same facility where she’d had her amniocentesis. She sat in the chair across from the desk as instructed and watched as Dr. Osborne, whom she’d only actually met twice, closed the door and took her seat behind the desk.

Keeping her distance. A professional distance. Cassie understood the unspoken need to establish roles. It was a tactic she’d used herself when she’d had unpleasant legal information to deliver to a client.

Bracing herself as best she could, she thought about waves. A short, plump stripper. And a different man wearing black shorts and a white polo shirt, sitting just feet beyond that door, his elbows on his thighs, hands clasped in the air between his knees. She thought of thick, curly blond hair and blue eyes. Those deep cerulean eyes that could also be her baby’s.

And ten minutes later, as she walked through the door from the hallway to the waiting room, all she saw were those deep blue eyes, their gaze seeking her own, as though he’d know all just from that glance.

She blinked, her mouth starting to tremble, and he stood, coming toward her.

Wood was beside her, not touching her, just there, and she nodded, at what she didn’t know, and headed toward the door. There was no paperwork to sign. She already had her next appointment scheduled. It was time to go. So she went.

He stayed beside her all the way to the truck. Opened her door for her, closed it behind her. Climbed in beside her and sat there holding his keys. He didn’t ask. Just sat there. Watching her.

And in that moment, Cassie fell a little bit in love—a feeling she knew, under the circumstances, she couldn’t trust.

* * *