Her nod came after the question. Before he could form a response, she said, “I know it’s ridiculous. Of course, you have every right to have a relationship. And to invite anyone you’d like over. This is legally your home. You’ve signed a lease, you pay rent...and while technically the communal space could be considered off-limits for entertaining, as we’re both using it, nothing was specified to that end, so...” She shrugged. “I’m overreacting.”
Maybe. And maybe not.
“This is your home, too, Elaina. If you’re uncomfortable with anything I’m doing, I’m trusting you to talk to me about it. Otherwise little things become irritating and irritation grows into resentment, and there’s nowhere good from there.”
He’d tiptoed around Wendy—and watched her tiptoe around him—for too many months for him to not have learned something.
“Thank you.”
That could have been the end of it, but when she should have left the room, prepared her tea, taken herself out of his realm, she came over and sat on the other end of the couch, pulling the throw off the back of it and cuddling up in it.
As though they were siblings on Christmas morning or something! She was giving him more credit than was his due if she thought he could sit with her in the middle of the night, both of them half-dressed, and keep himself unaroused.
Sex with her had always driven him wild, but the knowledge that she was pregnant with his child...seemed to have put his desire for her on steroids.
Odd that it didn’t seem to be affecting his interest in other women, though. He couldn’t even think of anyone he’d have wanted to bring home that night. Let alone done it.
“I was out of line,” she said. “Being bothered by the thought of you out here with someone else.”
She apparently needed to have this conversation. He couldn’t walk away from it. “We haven’t talked about seeing other people.”
“We aren’t seeing each other, and it’s not like either of us is signing on to a life of celibacy.”
Good point.
“Is there someone you want to date?”
“No! I’m pregnant!” She seemed to think about that for a second while he sat and watched the expressions flit across her face in the night’s shadows. “I can’t imagine many guys will want to date a woman who’s pregnant with another man’s child,” she said. And then, “And I’m serious about standing on my own.”
Good reminder. He was deadly serious about not diving in headfirst and getting stunned by the force of the blow when he hit bottom.
And just as serious about no longer making promises he couldn’t keep. He couldn’t make Heather love him. Couldn’t keep Wendy happy. He’d told them both he’d do both.
Their pain was partially on him for barreling so forcefully ahead, being so sure he could make it all work if they’d just let him show them he could. But they’d also led him along, liking what he was willing to do for them more than they liked him.
And now he didn’t hear from either one of them anymore. He didn’t even want to imagine a world where he couldn’t stay in touch with Elaina.
They couldn’t just ignore what was going on between them, though.
“Were you bothered because you thought I had a woman right outside your bedroom door, because I brought her to your house at all or just because I was with another woman?”
She met his gaze head-on. His hard-on got more painful.
“Because you were with a woman at all.”
He was glad to hear it. He shouldn’t be. But he was.
“I’d feel the same way if you were to have another man in your life.”
Her lips tilted upward a bit, like she was holding back a smile. “It’s probably dangerous, us feeling this way. I mean, I know I have no right to expect you not to date.”
He shook his head, wanting to be open and honest with her, but not wanting to analyze so deeply they got themselves lost.
“The danger lies in not communicating with each other,” he said. “I think it’s probably pretty natural, with everything going on right now, and the adjustments we’re having to make, going from two people who had sex but didn’t really know each other, to broken up, to living together as parents-to-be... It’s a natural reaction to not want the added complication of other intimate relationships that would directly affect and be affected by what we’re doing here.”
“You really think that?”