Either way, she didn’t really think he was avoiding her so much as giving her time to process.
She cleaned off her belly, pulled her scrub top down, got off that table and submitted to the blood test that would tell them most definitively the gender of their baby.
Greg, also in blue scrubs, was waiting for her in the lobby. “You want to have lunch in the cafeteria?” His gaze was warm. A little distant, or maybe hesitant, but still warm.
More than bedside manner.
She cataloged every nuance.
He didn’t seem to be turned off by what she’d told him. And strangely, she wasn’t embarrassed for having fallen apart on him.
Such an oddity, considering her usual reticence and need for privacy. But she’d changed, at least a little bit. And left room for more.
“Yes,” she answered his lunch question after a few seconds of silence. “I apologize for last night,” she added, as they walked out toward their cars. And before he could tell her no apology was necessary, or thank her for giving one, she continued, “But...thank you...for hanging out with me.”
“I wanted to be there.”
Such a simple truth. More for her to think about.
He wasn’t asking questions. Didn’t seem to be placing judgment. And now that her truths were out, they didn’t seem as life-threatening. For a second, she caught a glimpse of what her life might look like from his perspective.
And could still breathe.
“So...we’re good?” she asked as they reached her car. He didn’t have questions? Advice? Recommendations? Diagnoses?
“We’re always good, Elaina,” he told her. “I’m the guy who jumps in and stays until I’m no longer wanted around.”
He was only half joking. And she felt another pang as she considered his self-concern when they’d first talked about him renting the suite from her. He didn’t want to push himself in where he didn’t fit.
And her, with her propensity for leaning on the guy that was there...but maybe that habit within her had grown with Peter’s manipulation. Maybe he’d needed her that way. Maybe they’d have worked things out, worked long term. Maybe not. But she’d given him her all. Tried to be the wife he needed. And fought for herself, too. Just as Greg was fighting for what he needed?
Because people were supposed to need things from each other. And, to be healthy or find joy, they needed to ask for things, too...
“I’ve come to accept that I’m that guy,” Greg said, sobering completely as he stood at her car door, meeting her gaze. “And I’m okay with that. I’ll be here until you no longer need me.”
She couldn’t imagine that ever happening. The thought came to her out of nowhere. Somehow, Greg completely felt a part of her.
The realization panicked her. And brought a curious sense of more, too.
“Unless you meet the woman of your dreams and want to get married.” She grasped at a safety straw, but said it mockingly now. She’d overplayed that card and now it was done. There was no going back.
“Even then,” he said, still peering directly into her soul. “I’m here. Father to the child we created. And your friend.”
She wanted so much more than friendship from him. And was afraid to trust herself not to hurt him. Knowing that your actions could devastate someone, because you meant so much to them...
Like her parents’ sudden deaths had devastated her.
And her cry for a divorce had devastated Peter...
Greg knew. And seemed to take for granted that she was handling the situation.
She knew she was handling it. She’d been in and out of counseling. Would go back if the current situation seemed to demand it. Mostly therapy just helped her figure things out.
She was working diligently on that already. And was still standing the morning after. Still competent.
“I’m here for you, too,” she said, and wanted to snatch the words back immediately. Afraid of what they could mean, what she could be promising, what need he might have that she didn’t yet know about.
Afraid she’d let him down.