A Baby Affair (Parent Portal 2)

“I kind of picked up on that.”

“It’s not just the house... It’s... I don’t want to get married, to be forever vulnerable to the actions of someone else.”

“I know.”

He hadn’t asked her to marry him. Or even to go out with him. But he prudently held his tongue.

“You do.”

“Yep.”

“I know why this is happening. It’s because I’m carrying your baby. Let’s just put it right out there. That’s the cause of the connection we’re feeling. Right?”

He wanted to believe that was all it was.

“I mean, in a perfect world, there’s supposed to be some kind of feeling associated with the whole your-seed-growing-inside-of-me process. That’s what holds couples and families together. Or so I’m told. Sometimes.”

“I can remember a time when I was kid,” he said, looking inward. “I was about ten or eleven. I’d just done something good, though I’ve got no recollection whatsoever as to what it was. What I remember was the way my dad looked at my mom, and she at him, and then they both looked back at me with this identical smile on their faces. I couldn’t explain it then, but I felt so great. I’ve never forgotten that feeling.”

He hadn’t thought of it often, either.

“There was a bond there, because they were your parents,” she said. “In your case, the bond probably solidified because they raised you together. In our case, we won’t be...so an intense attraction between us—at least I know I’m feeling it and based on your struggle over there I’m guessing you’re feeling it, too—will pass. Everything’s new and unknown and pretty emotional right now, with this pregnancy and all. But when life settles back to a new normal, to a new routine...”

He wanted to believe her.

He wasn’t sure he did.

But couldn’t prove her wrong, either.

“It’s possible,” he told her.

Except...he had to be honest.

“Ever since you told me your baby is a girl... I keep thinking about Tricia. She had issues because her mother’s married lover would never acknowledge her. And you and your sister...with your dad abandoning you and then Duane not filling that void. Both of you have been shaped so deeply by that. And now I’ve fathered a little girl who’s going to grow up without a father in her life.”

Her expression flattened and he knew he’d scared her back inside again, to the place she went when she had to guard her heart.

“What are you saying? You want to coparent her now? To be—”

“No,” he cut her off as her voice rose. “I’ve been honest with you from the beginning and I’m being honest now. In the first place, I have no grounds or rights to ask such a thing of you. And in the second, I told you I wouldn’t. You’ve been good to me, allowing me this chance to get things right within myself. You’ve even said I could stay on the peripheries of Isabella’s life as she grows, to be a

vailable if either of you ever need assistance that I can provide. I’m just telling you my thoughts. And...aside from Isabella, I’m just not sure that my attraction to you is going to dissipate as easily, or completely, as you think yours for me will.”

“I’m not sure it will,” she said, glancing down at her hands. “I’m just hoping it will. This increased sexual drive is all new territory for me.”

He nodded, lips pursed as he watched a couple leave a dog in the car as they held hands and walked around the corner. It wasn’t hot enough to be all that dangerous yet. But if they left the car long enough, with the way car interiors heated up in the direct sun, it could become dangerous.

He wasn’t going to leave until he was certain the dog was okay. Until he could try to make things okay between him and Amelia.

Not that he was trying to convince himself anymore that he cared for her the same as he’d care for any other living creature.

She definitely mattered more.

“You want to stop riding?” she asked.

Maybe they should. “Not really,” he told her. “Though we’re going to have to in another couple of weeks.”

He figured she’d known it was coming just as he had. It was the first either of them had spoken of their imminent separation.