A Baby Affair (Parent Portal 2)
Page 63
On Wednesday, a week from the day he’d walked out of Amelia’s life, Craig called her.
The contract he’d signed with the Parent Portal didn’t give him the right to dial that number. The fact that he’d been her lover did. He’d had a long week. Wasn’t in a real generous or patient frame of mind.
He’d been short with his PA, with his receptionist and with his closest friend. None of them deserved the treatment.
He’d apologized to all of them, one at a time. Had taken one out to dinner and given gift cards for dinner out to the other two.
“Craig?” She sounded breathless when she picked up the phone.
“I’d like a word with you, in person,” he said. And then added, “At your convenience.” He wasn’t a complete boor.
He’d done a lot of thinking. He’d had no choice, being forced by his own petulance, to spend the majority of time with only himself and Talley for company.
That girl—she sure had a way of staring a guy down when she thought he needed to fix things.
“I’m free now,” she said. “I’m still at the office. You want to come here?”
“Is your sister there?” He’d like to meet her on his way out the door.
“Yeah, but she has her own office.”
“I’m on my way.” Already in his car, he turned the wheel sharply, made a quick U-turn and sped up the street. Before he changed his mind and got all polite again.
Amelia was waiting for him at the back door of her suite in the plush, new, one-story complex.
“You look tired,” he said, noting the darker skin around her eyes, the puffiness of her lids. The rest of her, what he could see of her in the baggy shirt, was just...good to be near.
“I am tired,” she told him. “It’s been a rough week.”
She could have been referring to work, perhaps a computer crash or some other fashion-related crisis about which he would normally care a great deal. Because he knew she cared. And because her business was her livelihood.
He didn’t care to be distracted at the moment. “Yes, it has been a rough week,” he said, hands in the pockets of his navy pants as he walked into her office as though he’d been there before. He didn’t look around. Didn’t take in much. The smell was nice. The space roomy—with lots of floral patterns and bright colors. He adjusted his tie and shoved his hand right back into his pocket.
“I have some things to say,” he said, reiterating what he’d told her in the car.
“Okay.”
And there he was. At the point of no return. And couldn’t remember, for a second, why he’d been so sure he had to reach that place. Until he glanced at the door he’d entered through and knew he’d be exiting it shortly.
“I love you,” he said. “I am in love with you. Isabella is my daughter, biologically, but in my heart, too. I have no legal rights to her. I’m not asking for any, nor do I intend to do so, but no one has a right to dictate what’s in my heart.”
“I’ve realized some things. I’ve let fear...”
“I—”
He wasn’t done yet. Couldn’t let her distract him from finishing what he’d come to do. “I know you don’t want to get married. I’m not asking you to. I just had to say what I have to say. This whole thing...it started out for good purpose, but my mistake was in continuing to see you when I knew I was falling in love. I fell in love with you not because of the baby you were carrying, but because you’re the most fascinating, intriguing, frustrating woman I’ve ever known. That’s when I should have left. I didn’t. And now here we are, friends who can’t be in touch because we took it too far. I’m sorry for that, too.”
“I’m afraid to be a wife.”
“I’m not asking you to be one,” he said, finally looking her in the eye. Needing her to understand badly enough that he was willing to take the pain that came with connecting to her. “I’d never ask you to do something that is wrong for you, Amelia. Please don’t misunderstand. At the same time, I can’t go on understanding others and not speaking up on my own behalf. I get your situation, just like I got Tricia’s. I respected her position, didn’t want to pressure her, and so I never told her how deeply it affected me. Maybe if I had, if I’d explained more completely my concerns where fathering Gavin without legal protections was concerned, if I’d continued to speak them, something might have been different. Maybe not. I’m not here to try to convince you of anything. Or pressure you. I don’t want a relationship that doesn’t fit. In the long run it would be catastrophic. I just needed to say what I had to say. So that if you contact me in the future, and I hope you will, just for occasional updates if nothing else, everything is out in the open. We all know clearly where we stand.”
“I’m afraid.”
Their gazes were locked this time as she said the words. A sheen appeared in those expressive green-with-a-tint-of-gold eyes. Her lip trembled.
And his hands started to shake.
“I’m afraid, Craig. Afraid to spread myself too thin. To have to choose between a husband and child. Afraid I’ll make the wrong choice. Like I did with Mike and Angie. I’m not saying I don’t want to try, because I know I do...and I’m petrified I’ll screw up...”