Shielded In The Shadows

“Jayden?” Forgoing lights, she sat on the end of the couch, her hip against the balled-up blanket. He’d pulled on his jeans and was lying there flat on his back.

“Yeah?”

“I’m sorry. I overstepped.”

“You’re fine. It was a valid question.”

“Not really. Not with what we signed up for.”

“Maybe that was unrealistic.”

So he was seeing that, too. The relief was heady. Not nearly as much as being in his arms, but in a really cool way, just the same.

Scooting so that her hip pressed against his feet, she put her hand on the blanket covering them. Liking the cozy feel of them.

“Maybe we should talk about that.” Darkness gave her courage. Or, could she hope, the side of herself that she normally tamped down was finally finding a way to live in the world with her without hurting her or others?

“I’m listening.”

He was open to having a conversation, then? The whole idea was new to her, at least to her conscious self. The accident, the scare of it mainly, had changed her. Opened her eyes to the vibrancy of life.

Waking to see him there...the way that had felt...she couldn’t deny what that had shown her.

“Maybe this...thing...isn’t just sexual. Maybe we really like each other, too.” She tried out the words, for her own sake as much as his. They were charting new territory together. That’s how relationships worked.

Not that they were necessarily going to have one, but...

“There’s that distinct possibility.” There was no humor in his tone. Or sarcasm, either. Still...

“You don’t sound happy about that.”

“It creates all kinds of difficulties.”

Like her getting upset and leaving the bed because he hadn’t told her something. Because she’d been hurt.

“Acknowledging the complications of a situation helps minimize them,” she said.

He didn’t reply.

“Do you want to stop seeing each other? Other than if necessary for work?”

“You’re being targeted, Em. I’m not going anywhere.”

Right. Because of the job. She was hugely grateful for that. And for the police patrol, too. But sooner or later that was going to have to end. It was not like the city could afford to be her bodyguard forever.

“Do you want us to stop...everything personal?” If that was his choice, then...

God, don’t let it be his choice.

“Do you?”

“No.”

“Then let’s leave it at that.”

“At what?”

He put an arm over his eyes. Then sat up. She missed the warmth of his feet against her.