Her Secret, His Child

Breathing sporadically, she held back tears, promising herself that she wouldn't let them fall. She needed to be able to rely on herself for strength.

"I never had unprotected sex before that night."

HER SECRET, HIS CHILD

But that wasn't why she knew. Biology wasn't even why she knew. She knew in her heart.

"Accidents happen." He turned around, moved away from her, ending up over by the fireplace. He took off his glasses, rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Do you know the names of all the men you were with in that last month? Would it even be possible to track them down, to narrow the child's parentage down to one man?"

She held up her head against the onslaught and faced the man she still loved. "Ashley needs you, Kyle. Please don't punish her for what I've done."

He blinked. "I'm not trying to punish her. I love her. Whether she's mine or not."

"Then don't punish yourself, either. Don't doubt what you know to be true."

Staring at her hard, he didn't move for several minutes. Solid and strong, he filled up her living room, her life, her heart.

Eventually, he reached the truth he'd had to reach. "She's mine," he admitted.

Jamie had known all along that he'd accept his fatherhood in every sense, biological as well as emotional. The special bond between them had brought them together in spite of what she'd been, and it still existed even now that he knew. It allowed him some kind of strange access to what she was really feeling; it denied the possibility of lying to each other. He could feel that the child she'd borne him belonged to him.

He just couldn't love her anymore. And she'd known that, too.

TARA TAYLOR QUINN

"I'd been under a lot of pressure for about six weeks before that party, studying for exams." She heard herself giving him the evidence she could have given him at the beginning. "I hadn't… worked…at all."

He was watching her.

"For more than a month."

"You'd had a period."

Jamie nodded.

"What about…afterwards?"

"I told you, I've never been with anyone since."

For the first time in more than an hour, his eyes softened. She caught a glimpse of the man he really was, the man she'd recognized as good, compassionate, a soul mate. "You meant that," he said, speaking almost to himself. "You've been celibate since that night…"

She'd had to be. After what she'd done with Kyle, what she'd allowed herself to experience, to feel, she couldn't sleep with anyone else. It would have destroyed her. She'd lost her indifference, her impartiality.

' 'When I worked, I went off to a little room inside me. A room I'd found when I was just a child." Why she was bothering with this, she didn't know, but she wanted him to understand how different their night together had been. Maybe it was for Ashley's sake. He needed to know that she was a special child, the consequence of an incredible night, a night out of time.

He was silent, so she figured he was waiting for more and eventually continued. "I'd occupy myself

HER SECRET, HIS CHILD

there for as long as it took." Jamie stopped, remembering, knowing she had to get through the next few minutes, just make it until Kyle left and then she could retreat to her invisible little room.

"Sometimes I'd make out lists of things I needed to do, make plans. I'd have conversations with a female friend, tell myself stories. I'd even sing songs that made me feel good."

Kyle's jaw clenched, the muscles in his face working. The rest of him was frozen, motionless, as he watched her.

"Sounds crazy, huh?"

The strong emotions flaring in Kyle's gaze threatened Jamie's composure. She wanted so desperately to run to him, to bury herself in the safety of his embrace.