“No,” Seth said. “I don’t think I will.”
Michael was struck dumb—and left with a dead phone at his ear. Seth had hung up.
SHE HAD TO CALL HIM. After five weeks of running their last conversation over and over in her mind, Susan knew she couldn’t leave things as she had.
Through a series of phone calls, she caught up with him in a hotel room in Nebraska.
“Susan?” At least he didn’t sound mad. “What’s wrong?” No, not mad, only worried sick.
Smiling in spite of her admonitions not to do anything stupid, like get her hopes up, she said, “Nothing, at least nothing immediate.”
“You’re okay?”
“Fine.” She looked down at the beach ball that had taken over her stomach and propped another pillow under her head. She had pillows everywhere these days. Here on the couch, on a chair in the kitchen, in her car. She’d bought an even dozen just to make sure she had enough.
“And the children?”
“Huge.” Don’t listen, she mouthed to the beach ball. “How’s work?”
“Good. Busy.”
And then the pleasantries were out of the way and a heavy silence fell on the line.
“Nothing’s changed. I know that—it’s just...I wanted to clear something up.”
“What’s that?” He still didn’t sound annoyed. As a matter of fact, he sounded as though he didn’t mind her calling him at all.
But then, she’d been the one who’d insisted on no contact.
“You said something that night, a few things actually, that weren’t accurate, and I need to set the record straight.”
“Yes?”
“You weren’t just a stud service, Michael.” She couldn’t believe she hadn’t had a little more finesse than that. “When I asked you to be the father of my child, it was because I didn’t want a child at all if it couldn’t be yours.”
“You never told me that.”
“I know. I didn’t want to put that much pressure on you.”
He chuckled. “Lady, if you think you didn’t put pressure—”
“I know,” she interrupted. Damn, he sounded good. It was wonderful just hearing his voice. Her two-ton body felt better than it had in weeks. “I’m sorry, Michael. And one other thing.” She rushed on before she could chicken out. “Being in control of my life doesn’t mean more to me than you do.” She’d given the matter a lot of thought, continuous thought, over the past weeks. “Maybe at one time it did, maybe even when we got divorced, but I’ve changed, Michael.”
She didn’t know why it was so important to her that he understand this. But it was. Michael knew her better than anyone, and she needed his view of her to be accurate. Almost as though she couldn’t be who she was unless he saw her that way.
“Michael, I don’t have to fight anyone else’s preconceived notions anymore. Not my father’s ideas. Not my brothers’. Not anyone’s. I have confidence in my strength to be true to myself, in my ability to handle whatever comes my way.” Confidence gained, in some part, during the past five weeks. She’d managed to live without Michael. To survive. “And so—” She broke off, swallowed back tears. “It’s no longer a threat to share who I am.”
Michael was silent so long she was afraid he’d fallen asleep. “You there?’ she finally whispered.
“I am.” He fell silent again, but only for a second. “I’m proud of you, Sus. You’ve grown up.”
“Yeah.”
“Your children are very lucky to have a mom like you.”
The warmth, the sincerity in his voice was her undoing.
“Well, I gotta go—”