Nothing Sacred

Then she murmured, “Yeah, I know.” Her voice had softened, filled with the kind of intimacy that could only develop over years of knowing everything there was to know about a person.

“Okay.” Another nod. Slower.

Watching as much as listening, David filed away the insights he was learning, sensing that he was going to need them.

Todd Moore was letting Martha down again. And she was allowing him do it.

She expected nothing more.

Which might be why she got nothing more.

“I’ll tell her.” Her voice was filled with resignation and disappointment. Of the two, the resignation seemed stronger.

David felt a tug of concern that he couldn’t ignore. Resignation was a step further than disappointment into emotional darkness. And much harder to combat. Perhaps he’d been led to a job that was beyond his limited capabilities.

“EL?”

Shelley slid quietly into her older sister’s bedroom a few minutes before the alarm was due to go off on Friday morning.

“Yeah?”

“You awake?” She wanted to climb into the double bed, find Ellen’s toes with her own, cuddle up like she used to do when she had nightmares. But she was afraid to touch her. Didn’t know if that was okay.

Or even if she really wanted to.

“Yeah.”

“Can I…sit?” She motioned to the end of the bed.

“Of course.” Ellen sat up, propping pillows behind her back. She moved slowly, gingerly. Her hair was all flat from having dried by itself after the shower they’d made her have at the hospital the night before. Mom had told them about that. And about the pill Ellen had to take to make sure there was no kid. Shelley wanted to run.

Instead she sat. Stared. Didn’t know what to say. She was afraid she’d do something really stupid, like cry.

“How are you?” She couldn’t hold Ellen’s gaze for long, afraid of what her sister might say.

“I’m not sure.”

She glanced up, frightened by how strange her sister looked to her. Makeup could do a lot, but would it hide the puffiness around her eyes and lips? How could she go to class looking like that? “I’m sorry.”

“I know.” Ellen’s smile was horrible. Sad. Empty or something. Ellen was always the one who made the rest of them feel better.

“I helped Mom get you ready for bed. I picked out the pajamas,” she said awkwardly, not sure if Ellen would be mad at her for invading her privacy.

How had they grown so far apart without even knowing it?

Ellen nodded. Smiled that sickly smile again.

Shelley didn’t know what to do next. Wishing she’d never come in, she wondered how to get up and leave.

“It’s okay.”

Shelley’s gaze flew up at her sister’s words, but when she looked at Ellen, all she wanted to do was cry. She couldn’t think of anything to say.

“I’m okay,” Ellen said, a tiny hint of her normal self in her eyes. “Really.”

Shelley nodded. Swallowed. Wishing she were up there on that pillow, too, Ellen’s arms around her.

“Did he…hurt you?” Was talking about it a mistake?