“Actually,” Valerie said, bumping his side again as they walked, “I’m impressed, and very grateful to you.” Her tone had dropped to a more serious level.
The Kirk Chandler of old would have taken that straight to his ego. “Why?” he asked now, honestly perplexed.
“Impressed because, despite those rough experiences, you built something to be proud of. Look at your life, dedicated to the betterment of ch
ildren. But you haven’t done like most of us, working our jobs and going home. You’ve taken it steps further. Your life is those kids. You let them know they matter, give them a sense of value when they see how much you value them.”
If she got that, then why didn’t she understand how important it was for him to see Abraham Billings? Kirk dropped his arm.
“And grateful?” he asked. They turned a corner, bringing them back in sight of the Arizona Superior Court, Juvenile Division.
“Because you just validated the one thing that gets me through my days here.”
“Which is?”
“The belief that troubled kids can and do grow up to be good, law-abiding, caring and successful citizens. Every decision I make is geared toward that end.”
He wouldn’t abuse that belief by telling her exactly what kind of citizen he’d grown up to be. Ruthless. Out to win. To be the one holding all the cards—at almost any cost. He’d drawn the line at breaking laws that could land him in jail. But the laws of human decency and kindness he’d trampled on whenever necessary.
And without compunction.
Those were things she’d never know about him.
Traffic was picking up as the morning calendars drew to a close and court personnel were leaving for lunch. Someone in a dark blue Mercedes honked at Valerie. She smiled and waved.
“Have you heard any more on the paternity suit?” she asked him as they neared the front parking lot where he’d left his car.
“Nope.” Troy had told him it would take time. The first step had been a formal letter to Susan requesting that she submit her son to a paternity test. The second had been a pleading filed in family court.
“Have you thought about just asking her for the test yourself?” Valerie asked.
“No.” When he’d found out about the child, Susan had refused to speak to him.
Stopping at the side of the building, where there was a private entrance for employees with clearance, Valerie turned to smile at him, squinting beneath the bright sun.
“Speaking as a woman, not as a member of the legal profession, I’d suggest that, given the intimate nature of the situation, it might be best to handle this on a personal basis rather than through lawyers. Reassure her that you aren’t trying to take anything away from her. That you just want to share in the responsibility.”
Kirk doubted that Susan, even in the good days, had ever thought as logically as Valerie. But he was desperate. He’d give her another try. He wouldn’t accuse. Or challenge. He’d simply ask.
It could work.
In a different lifetime.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
ROCKING HER SON, Susan Douglas studied his perfect features and fought the ready tears that threatened whenever she really looked at Colton. She just couldn’t escape the memory of another time. Another warm body against her breast. Another face with exactly the same features.
And still, she loved this child fiercely. For himself. Not in place of the sister he’d never know.
Which was why she didn’t feel the least bit guilty about the phone call she’d made an hour before. She’d caught Valerie Simms just as the judge was leaving her office for her Wednesday-afternoon session. The conversation had to be quick.
She’d received a call from Kirk. A confusing call. She hated the man she’d divorced three years before.
But she’d adored the man she’d married ten years before that. To distraction.
And although she knew it was inconceivable, he’d almost convinced her that he’d really changed. That fathering Colton mattered.
There was a time she would’ve given anything to have Kirk be a father to her child. To his child. And those old aches still had power over her.